Put Your Foot Down

I’m not so sure it was wise for our church to hire a pastor who is married to a strong-willed child.

The pastor’s wife role comes with a lot of expectations, in some churches more than others, but I refuse to meet expectations. Let someone tell me, Well, you should go to this because you’re the pastor’s wife, and she’ll find me all arms crossed and feet planted. No way am I going to do stuff just because I’m the pastor’s wife. (Well, sometimes I do things out of a sense of duty. I’m not that belligerent. But it’s a rare event.)

One time a leader at church was lamenting to me how hard it is to get volunteers in church who will work hard and stick with a ministry for the long haul. I told him I work hard and have stuck with it. He said, Well, you’re a pastor’s wife. You have to do that stuff.

Oh no he didn’t!

Here’s how it is, sisters. I serve because I love Jesus. Nothing makes me happier than rolling up my sleeves and putting in serious labor for the kingdom of God. It’s in that service where I have found my deepest satisfaction and joy –not because someone has expected me to serve, but because I have desired to lay my life down and follow the Savior.

The trick to managing a strong-willed child is to make sure what you want her to do is her idea. Then she’s all in.

So if your hackles raise at the “you should because you’re a pastor’s wife”, then I say flip it. You know, like that nasty, old house someone buys cheap as an investment, and then he renovates it and make it fresh and new. Same house –different look. If we, as pastor’s wives, can gut out the “you should do this” and bring in the “I want to do this”, it changes our role to one of joy instead of burden.

Then we are setting the example for the whole house –where people are free to work in the area where God shaped them to work and where they desire to work, instead of forcing them to labor out of guilt and duty. That kind of church has curb appeal.

We set the pace for the whole house. Maybe a little stubborn, strong will isn’t all bad.