Survivor I Changed the Rules (free excerpts)

CHAPTER 1








Trust

1995
Some things we must learn by trial and error. Trust has been one of these things for me. People have their own thoughts, wants, and desires, and at any time they can change course. A friend today can be an enemy tomorrow. I’ve learned to give without giving away too much of myself to the point where I put myself in a position where a person can fatally harm me. We all will come across people who will fool us into thinking that they are our best friends and trustworthy of our confidence. No one is immune to thistrap unless you’re a hermit and choose to live outside of civilization. But the glory is in learning and experiencing a friendship that exists without boundaries, one in whichtrust is established and not violated. For me, in my sister, Aketa, I have found such a friend.
When I got home I went inside and took a piss. With my little man in my hand I almost dozed off into adaydream. “Fuck!” I whispered. Zipping up my pants, I washed my hands and then walked out the front door and onto the porch. I sat down on a chair and watched the cars

2                                Therone Shellman
go down Station Road. Some of the detectives cars from the raid drove by packed with white guys. They all looked like they were happy for putting in a good day’s work. Who could blame them? Part of their job was to lock up people. From what I heard, they  practically  cleaned up the whole block.I was happy not to be one of the arrested ones. I knew I was going to have to break off ties with EJ right away, but not without him giving me my fourteen hundred dollars for the two ounces I left him. I also planned to give him some payback somewhere down the line for his snake move. This would have to wait, though, because I planned to get him back real good. Patience, I thought. Shaking my head, I watched the cars pass by, taking in the fact that I very well could have been cuffed up in the back seat of one of those cars on my way to do some more time.For the rest of the day I didn’t go anywhere, not even to the  store  like  I  usually  did  during  the  evening  to  get something to drink. I sat down and began to ponder about what I was going to do with myself. I was going to school for barbering and cosmetology, but I was hustling to stack money in hopes of being able to get by until  I  finished school, and have enough saved to open a shop and have a nest egg to live on for a while. The way things were going, I was going to fall short of completing school or ending up with any money. One false move and all opportunity would be lost.I weighed the pros and cons of my upcoming moves. First I needed to get to EJ and make sure he had my money. Next, I needed to reach out to customers and let them know I was not going to be at the  spot anymore, so they could just page me to meet me somewhere. And last but not least, I needed to make sure I did everything I could to  stay in school and out on the streets on parole.
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The next day I walked over to EJ’s house. He wasn’t living there yet, because he and his wife had just purchased the place. One of  his customers who did contractor work had  knocked  down  the   walls   and  was  rebuilding  the framing. During the day while this was going on EJ would be there while they worked. He set up this spot as his new location for customers.When I got to the front door he opened it and let me inside. I  contemplated whether I should just kick his ass and forget about the  money. But then reality set in. This was about me getting the most  out of the situation, so I decided to play it cool, because I needed the money, and I needed to stay on the streets in order to complete  school. Getting locked up again was not an option.EJ shook my hand. “I’m glad you got away,” he said. He  looked  me up and down as I gave him a blank stare. “They told me you got away. Where did you run to?”Calmly, and choosing my words carefully, I held back my  anger.  “I ran toward the backyard to the next block. What happened with you? How is it that you all of a sudden go to use the phone and then this shit happens? We just got the phones back from the spot the other night.”I stared him down, and I was sure he was aware that I would like to hurt him. But he stayed calm, replying, “Why would I set you up? We’re a team. I wouldn’t do it. I don’t have no reason to.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a knot of money. He counted some bills and gave them to me. “Vic, I didn’t do it. Believe me.”I  started  counting  and  realized  he’d  given  me  six hundred dollars.“Come  in  three  days  and  I’ll  have  the  other  eight hundred for you,” he said. “As long as we stick together, no one can come between us. Who can beat us? We can get all the money out here.”
4                                Therone Shellman
I began to shake my head in disbelief. “Man, I don’t trust you. A lot of rumors have been circulating about you, but I never believed them. But this shit is a little too crazy for me not to take heed.” I stopped and looked into his eyes so he could see how serious I was.  “I’m a tell you one thing, though. If I find out you tried to set me up, for sure I’m going to come after you. I promise you that. I’m not out here for nothing. I’m trying to get my shit together. You may want to buy new cars and fuck with these hoes, but I’m trying to finish school and move on to bigger and better things. And I’m a  hurt  any fucker who thinks he’s going to set me up because he cannot handle his own shit. I’m not going down for anyone else’s  bullshit. I’ll clap their asses up first, trust that.”He started laughing. EJ was a very good salesman, and a very smooth talker. “Vic, you need to trust me. I would never do that to you. I love you like a brother.”I smirked when I heard the word trust. Trust was a word that really  didn’t mean too much to me when it came to relying on someone else. I thought about who I could really trust—my sister, and that was it. I’d heard enough from EJ and decided it was time to make my exit.“I’m a come back in three days,” I said as I backed out the door without saying another word. He was going to say something else, but instead just frowned.Just as I reached Patchogue Avenue I ran into some fellas who were discussing the raid. I didn’t say anything. Instead I decided  to weigh in and gather all the info that was circulating around the hood. The story was that EJ set up the raid and that he was hiding  in  the sticker bushes when the police walked past him. A couple of bags of drugs were not far from him, but the police did not take  them either.
Survivor: I Changed The Rules                  5
Everything the fellas said added up, because the two bags of drugs were the two ounces I gave him. They didn’t take the scales from the house, either, which were covered with cocaine residue. Nor did they touch the plates, which were covered with chunks and pieces of base rock from me cutting up product earlier that day. They didn’t lock up EJ because they had no intention of doing so in the first place. Finally,  they  didn’t  take  the  two  ounces  of  drugs,  the scales, the phones, or the other drug paraphernalia because they did not get who they wanted. They made a bunch of loitering arrests, but if they had gotten me, it was clear they would have put everything on me. I was sure of that little piece of the puzzle.EJ was the cops informant. As long as he set up people for them, they let him get money. But I was no one to them, so I was to go down  for all that was wrong. In fact, they didn’t know who I was. To everyone on the streets I was known as Victorious. No one knew my government name, and  I  never  spoke  it  to  anyone,  whether  it  was  other dealers,  associates,  or  even  chicks  I  was  screwing.  My alias, Victorious, was what everyone knew. Had it not been for  the  fact  that  I  was  on  parole,  I  would  have  been completely anonymous to everyone except Jah, who knew me from prison.The fellas continued to talk, and I walked off. I didn’t say much  because I didn’t trust most of them either. To them I was an outsider because I was not born and raised in Bellport. I grew up in  Brentwood,  and spent most of my time out in western Suffolk  County, Nassau County, and Brooklyn. I found myself in Bellport because when I came home  from  prison  in  1994  this  was  where  the  halfway house was located. Once I got turned on to hustling  and realized that the neighborhood was a gold mine, I decided to stick around.

CHAPTER 2








NO FAULT OF MINE

Life is a series of moments and events that one goes through, some by your own account, and some by no fault or action of your own. Some of the predicaments we encounter seem unfair, as if we were predestined for failure, cursed, or hexed. But the bad with the good is all part of the equation we must all endure to pass the time in this life.
I was  born  September  7,  1971.  At  the  time  I  was nameless, and I guess that my mother, Barbara Shellman,was waiting on my dad to help her pick out a name. This never happened, so twenty-four hours later I was given the name  Therone.  How  my  mother  came  up  with  such  an unusual name is something I never found out. Later in life when I researched my name I found out a famous poet from England also had the name. Whether she had him in mind when she thought of my name, I will never know. Theron in Greek also means hunter.I  was  the  first  born  of  four  children—one  brother (Ivory)          and      two      sisters  (Aketa and                     Teisha).       The circumstances         surrounding   my       father   and      Barbara’s relationship   were   unknown   to   me.   All   my   siblings 

Survivor: I Changed The Rules                  7
resembled one another, while I looked like Barbara. So the question lingered as to whether we all had the same father.By the time Ivory was two, our mother found herself in the same predicament many other black women during the’70s found themselves in—the harsh reality of being both a mother and father to her children. I was about five-years- old  by  then,  and  I  saw  our  mother’s  struggle  and  pain clearly for what it was.  Taking us in taxi cabs here and there  through  Brooklyn,  she  was  within  a  never  ending cycle of just trying to get by with no help.  I  knew she struggled, and she would often comfort me by wiping her hands across my face as if to wipe away all my worries and doubts.  She knew I understood her predicament, and we shared a bond which existed beyond words.Our times  spent  together  were  quiet  moments.  She would take me to the courtyard of our building complex so Aketa and I  could  play. Teisha and Ivory would be in a stroller, and she would sit on the park bench and watch us. She didn’t work, and everywhere she went we went as well.One  day  when  I  walked  into  the  bathroom  of  the apartment I noticed that the bathroom ceiling was caving in and debris were falling everywhere.“Ma, look!” I yelled.Barbara rushed into the bathroom. When she saw what was going on she immediately told me to go outside. She went into the living room, grabbed Aketa, and put Teisha and Ivory inside the  stroller. After she came outside, she took us over to the sidewalk. She looked at me. “Stay right here  and  watch  them.  I’ll  be  right  back.  I  have  to  call maintenance.”I nodded. “OK,” I said. I really didn’t want her to go back in there, but I was just a kid, so what could I say?Aketa started to cry, then so did Teisha. As if I knew what  I  was  doing,  I  tried  to  comfort  both  of  them  by
8                                Therone Shellman
rubbing their backs, but they kept crying. Worried, I kept looking   at   the  open  apartment  door,  wondering  what Barbara  was  doing.  A  minute  later  she  came  outside, rushing over to comfort Teisha and Aketa.“Stop crying, stop crying” she told them both softly, rubbing on Teisha’s forehead and hugging Aketa.“Are you OK?” she asked Ivory, pinching his cheek. He smiled and nodded.We stood outside near the curb for about an hour before a car pulled up to the curb and a white guy got out wearing a tool belt  around his waist. He looked old, had graying hair, and walked as if his body ached. I watched him as he walked over to the apartment door.“That’s my apartment,” Barbara yelled to him.He  immediately   looked   over   at   us.   “What’s   the problem?  Did you call about a bathroom ceiling?” After Barbara  nodded,  he  walked  into  the  apartment.  Barbara tried to follow, but I heard him say, “Stay outside while I check it out. We’re not going to be able  to work on it tonight. Just let me see what the problem is.”She walked  back  over  to  us.  I  could  tell  she  was worried.  By this time it was getting dark outside and the street lamps had  come on. It was summer and bugs were everywhere,  so  once  the  lights  came  on  at  night,  the mosquitoes  started  to  come  out  of  their  daytime  hiding places. They were everywhere, and with the  lights on I could see them clearly.The  maintenance   man   came   out   and   swatted   at something  flying  near  his  face.  Fixing  his  glasses,  he walked toward the curb.Barbara didn’t say anything. She just waited for him to speak.He rubbed his face and finally spoke. “You can’t go back in there tonight. We will have to come back tomorrow
Survivor: I Changed The Rules                  9
morning and go upstairs to see what’s going on up there.” He  looked down at us and smiled before looking back to Barbara. “I’m going to make a report for the front office, but the apartment is not  safe enough to be in tonight, so you’ll have to take the kids somewhere else, because I can’t let you go back in there.”Barbara just stared at him and then looked around. “I need to call a cab. Can you stay right here with them while I go use that phone?” she asked, pointing to the payphone on the outside of the deli across the street.After the maintenance man agreed, I watched as she crossed  the  street.  Worry  was  all  over  her  face,  and  I wondered about  our fate. I knew she was not close with anyone. Once in a while we would go to her parents’ place, but they never came out to see us.I  saw  her  speaking  and  nodding.  Her  dark  brown, almond  shaped eyes were watching me as she realized I was watching her. A smile creased her lips and I could see teeth. A quick rush of cars passed by and stopped at the red light. Just as the light turned green  she got off the phone and ran across the street.“Thank you,” she told the maintenance man. “I’m a wait  for  a  cab  to  take  us  to  my  mother’s  house,”  she explained.He rubbed his head. “OK, have a good night. I’ll be here   tomorrow.  But  give  them  a  call  to  find  out  if everything is good tomorrow before you return.”