Do You Know All Below?

So the cat is still in the holiday mode. If you don't like it, go find a rhyming toad. I suppose he would be a fun bloke until he decided to croak. Then nothing would be said. Better off avoiding such dread. Now away wie go with some facts that all might not know.

In that twelve days song,
You can do no wrong.
Get all the presents from it,
And 364 presents your stats would hit.

Jingle Bells is so great.
Christmas had to be its fate.
Nope, wrong once more.
It was actually written for Thanksgiving's shore.

More than 3 billion greeting cards are sent,
Making the mailman get bent,
In the US alone.
Be cheaper to leave a message at the tone.

The average household will mail out,
On average 28 Christmas card shouts.
I guess with that stat,
The cat falls flat.

A wreath on the door,
Means welcome to ones shore.
Also it wishes you a long life.
Sucks if Santa stole your wife.

Supposedly 7 out of 10,
Of those mutts at each den,
Also get a gift each year.
Pfft 10 out of 10 cats get them I hear.

56% of you guys down below,
Meaning at the US show,
Sing carols to your pets.
I hope you give them earplugs in sets.

Visa cards down below,
My meaning by now you know.
Are used 5,340 times a minute during the season.
Wow, those bills can't be pleasin.

1.76 billion candy canes will be made.
If I get one I'm willing to trade.
A dollar a stick.
I promise it will only have one lick.

In early England they say,
The traditional dinner on display,
Was a the head of a pig,
With mustard for a wig.

Alabama and their backward ways,
Back in 1836 in some sort of daze,
Probably thinking they were in a stage play.
Became the first state to declare Christmas a holiday

And finally the jolly old fat guy,
Must really know how to fly.
He has to visit 842,000,000 houses in one night.
Hopefully Rudolph and Dancer don't fight.

Or he may be late.
That would be an awful fate.
841,999,999 would just look so wrong.
Maybe he'll just skip King Kong.

There are all the facts for this year from my little rhyming rear. Now you know plenty more useless things thanks to my wings. You can also pretend to be smart and maybe get on the people of Walmart. That would show such class. I would at least pretend to be a jealous little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on December 22, 2012 03:00
No comments have been added yet.


Pat Hatt's Blog

Pat Hatt
Pat Hatt isn't a Goodreads Author (yet), but they do have a blog, so here are some recent posts imported from their feed.
Follow Pat Hatt's blog with rss.