Guest Post: What’s it like to date a vampire?

Yesterday I posted an excerpt of AJ Meyers’ newly released Something Wicked, the sequel to Something Witchy, and book two in the Mystics & Mayhem series. Today, I’m posting up this Q&A with the main character of the books, Ember Blaylock. So without further introduction, here’s Ember.

___

Hi! My name is Ember Blaylock, the narrator and eternal victim of the twisted mind of AJ Myers, the author of the Mystics & Mayhem series. Yeah, the hag (God, I hope she’s not reading this!) just released the second book in the series, Something Wicked, and is already plotting new and unusual ways to make my life a living Hell. Seriously, this chick needs to get a hobby or something!

Anyway, thanks to AJ telling my life story like it’s some form of entertainment, I’ve been getting some interesting fan mail. And I love how they always start out. It’s always something like, ‘You are so awesome!’ or ‘If I was a witch, I’d want to be just like you!’ But in the end, it always turns into a ‘What’s it like to date a vampire?’ questionnaire. Guess that’s to be expected, huh?

Since I don’t really feel like answering all those letters, I’m going to address a few of the questions these vamp groupies keep asking and save myself some time.

Ok, so the first question comes from some chick named Wendy in Washington—who actually put her picture in the envelope and asked me to give it to my boyfriend.

Wendy: What does it take to get a vampire to bite you?

Me: Really? What kind of question is that? Okay, not that I have the first clue why someone would willingly let a vampire mark them, but I guess just bleed in front of him. You know, cut your finger and ask him to kiss it and make it better? That would probably do the trick.

BUT! Before you do something stupid, you’d better make sure this guy likes you. Vampires only mark the donors they want to keep. That means if he doesn’t want to keep you, you might end up in a shiny box in a deep hole. Just sayin’!

 

Our next question is from Carrie from California—who irritated the hell out of me by asking me to give Nathan her number.

Carrie: So what do you feel right before he sinks his fangs in you? Is it like euphoria? Or like ‘Holy crap! This is going to hurt!’ Or ‘Man, I ate onions today! Oh, God! Does my blood taste like onions?!’

Me: Oh. My. God! Seriously, where do these people come up with these things? Okay, what does it feel like right before a vampire bites you? It’s scary as hell, that’s how it feels. And yes, when those T-Rex teeth sink into your neck, it hurts! But once he starts drinking… Well, never mind. Telling you would only encourage you, so I’ll leave that one alone.

 

 

Our next vampire groupie is Tina from Texas—who sent not only her address, but a key to her house. Do these people not know who they’re dealing with?

Tina: Can he really make you feel whatever he wants you to? Does he ever make you feel anything…interesting?

Me: Yes, he can—but he doesn’t dare because I have my own little set of abilities, and I will set him on fire the next time he tries that shit! And trust me, Nathan doesn’t need some vampy mind tricks to make me feel anything ‘interesting’.

 

Okay, now this next one from Marilee from Mississippi wasn’t so bad—it actually made me laugh. The fact that it came with an actual vial of blood addressed to my boyfriend? Not so much.

Marilee: So when you go on a date and you want to watch an awesome vampire movie, does he laugh through the whole thing?

Me: Actually, I’ve watched a vampire movie with Nathan before. And yes, he laughed all the way through it. He also rooted for the vampire to eat the hero. And in Nathan’s case, it’s infectious. By the time it was over, I was laughing and rooting for the vamp right along with him.

 

Now, this last one is from Anna from Alaska. This one took the cake for me. The other girls sent blood, phone numbers, addresses, house keys. This one sent a pair of red lace panties. Yeah, she’s a skank.

Anna: Does Nathan prefer silk sheets or Egyptian cotton? Just want to be sure he’s comfortable when he gets here.

Me: I have your address, dumbass.

Do you see what I have to deal with? And all because AJ can’t keep her big mouth shut when I tell her something! And those are just the letters I got after the first book, Something Witchy, came out. I hate to see what kind of ‘gifts’ Nathan receives after Something Wicked launches. But if you just can’t resist, go check them out. At least you’ll be entertained.

And if you fall in love with Nathan, too? Well, sucks to be you!