So, where was God?

By G. F.
Smith

This
particular Blog Post was going to be a two-fold entry: One, thanking everyone
for a successful Book Give-away Drawing, and two, commenting on, and wishing
everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. But then it happened: 

The
senseless massacre of children at the Newtown, Conn. School… 

I wish I
understood! I wish—pray—for a deeper understanding of why things like
this happen; I always have. Tears are welling in my eyes as I write, and the
life-long anger that has haunted me all my days—because of things like
this—is exponential at this moment, I must say. My wife and I raised our own
four children; my little grandchild, Liam, is crawling around my chair as I
write this. I look at him, pick him up, and hold him tight, and all I can do is cry. I know what the parents are
feeling…at least to a degree. (We’re praying for you all…) 

You know, I
check out the news on a daily basis, in the morning, with a cup of coffee.
Today was like the last few, after the announcement—a little more information,
a little more anger to add to the bitterness of my umpteenth cup of coffee. 

Again, I
wish I understood; I long to understand… 

However, I
must admit that I don’t. It’s an irony, really, when one considers that I’m in
the process of trying to launch my book series, which, as some of you know, culminates
with a story about a terrorist group in the future called the QUALM, which
overtakes and holds hostage a huge orphanage and begins taking the children’s
lives because the world doesn’t go along with their demands.

I feel so
bad, now. I knew this would happen with the formation of the concept over two
years ago; people would think ill of me for writing it. I just didn’t think it
would happen like this. Coincidence and timing in life is sometimes beyond
bizarre. 

Humbly
speaking my friends and Readers, the series is about trying to understand this
life, and doing so from the inner perspectives of our questioning child—a child
who on the one hand feels anger and resentment for life, and on the other, one
who still longs for understanding and forgiveness and purpose. Subjected: the
Series is—in its essence—about the apparent duality of our human and spiritual natures.

However, it
is the end of the story that pulls it all together, and hence, I
believe, affords us the understanding.  As
an Author, and as a person, I must acknowledge this most basic of premises. As
we all must, in the wake of this horrific tragedy.

Personally,
I believe in God. And I believe he well knows the anger that I have because of
things like what happened in Newtown, Connecticut. Yet, the victims of this tragedy,
along with the rest of those who are completely incensed by it, are but a literal
few in the billions that have endured things like this throughout humanity’s history.

Tragedies
of this sort have been going on for thousands upon thousands of years, in one
form or another. In fact the very poisonous anger that I feel now, towards that
young man—as well as God, because of it—is undoubtedly the same ubiquitous anger
that most likely drove Adam Lanza to strike out in the first place, against
life, against the very innocence of childhood, and against God.

So, where
was God? 

Why didn't He stop it? God? Why hasn't He stopped it all, all the bad? Why has He…allowed
it to continue for so long? Why hasn't He fixed it all yet? Why did it all fall
apart in the first place? I don’t know. Questions? Questions? 

I can’t
give any of you any solace with whatever answers I might be able to usher up.
All I can do is boldly share with you—in my writing, and my books—my various
perspectives and positions of observation…along with my measure of faith.

Again, I wish
to emphasize that I believe we must all recognize that the same anger and
disillusionment that we feel because of this tragedy is, again, probably the
same anger that fueled it in the first place, and has done so throughout
history.

However, I
have made a personal choice in my life…a choice to forgive God. I’ve gotten a
lot of flack from others for that statement: “Who do I think I am?” “Where do I
get off?” Sorry, no disrespect, but that’s how I feel.

I choose to
forgive God—whatever he truly may be: Father, aloof friend, Brother, Higher-dimensional
Being, old man with a beard, whatever… I choose to forgive God for all the
oddly incongruous events and experiences that I (that we) have suffered,
endured, and continue to humbly question as our lives progress toward our own
dubious demises. But, that’s my choice.

And
that’s the point; it all comes down to our Choices…

Forgiveness
of others—of God—again in my opinion, and as hard as it might be to
understand, much less apply, is the only remedy that I can see that will continue
to turn the tide of humanity. I believe that God—whether literal, figurative,
or however you want to think about it—along with us, must also endure the
tragic suffering and loss of his children—as he did with his own begotten Son.

Jesus
Christ was a historical figure; that is undeniable. He suffered and died, at
the ignorant and angry hands of humankind, and it was with that strength and
courage of forgiveness that he carried his own cross to his death. This is a
fact of history. Because of his life—his sacrifice—I believe that He—that
God—knows what we are feeling. 

However you
choose to believe, it is the rudiments of forgiveness that has changed the
world and brought us up out of the animalistic nature that wars against us in
our hearts and minds.

If Adam
Lanza could have found forgiveness in his heart for whatever life had doled out
to him, then, he may have never lashed out in such a dreadful and deadly
manner. Likewise, if we don’t help others in the future know and understand the
virtues of forgiveness, then what is to prevent other tragedies like this one
from happening. 

Forgiveness
is the Essence and Spirit of Christmas; I tend to think that a lot of people have forgotten that...and we mustn't! 

G. F. Smith