Please see Sandy Hook.

My higher self is gentle with me.

I had intended to sleep in this morning.

I can, you see, for my life is trauma free.

For many this was a night of no sleep.

You see?

I had intended to sleep in this morning, but I woke from a nightmare in the early hours.

In this dream my 10 year old daughter was going away to boarding school.

My higher self dared look at the 'school' part of the equation that =s killing but not the rest.

For it knows how my mamma's heart would ache.

My higher self is gentle with me.

In this dream my daughter and her father had agreed that she would go to a boarding school.

Mondays to Fridays.

A ferry ride away.

It was beautiful there (much like heaven you see?) but far from me.

Out of reach.

You see?

I felt such grief in this dream.

Such sadness.

And I shared this with her in the dream.

"I love you, I want to be with you.
Please do not go."


Stay

(live)

here.


This morning there are mothers who have lost their little hearts

out of reach

they do not have the weekends with them

they have nothing

now

but a heart breaking grief.

Today my heart is with them.

See?

And with the little hearts who walked out of that school with their eyes closed.

Closed because they had seen things that little eyes are not created, not made, not programmed to see. Angels computing hell.

Too much.

I hold their hearts as they learn to open them again.

See, you can trust. ?


And today my heart is with the rest of us.

As we face (I hope) the fact that we have to yet to see how we need to relate to one another.

How we need to care for one one another .... enough ..... completely .... so that we do not have to live through trauma like this.

So that we can create, can see a world that we can trust.

See?

x

Cathrine Lødøen.