Please, Insomnia…Let me sleep a little!!

Insomnia has been trying to make me give up on sleep at nights ever since I was 5, maybe 6 years old. Perhaps more, but that’s as far as I remember.

It was horrible to be a little child, unable to sleep, having no one to talk to (no internet back then…), nothing to watch (no DVD, no VCR either, and the TV, back then, simply ‘closed’ after midnight here—just static or some color stripes showing until next morning), and still not able to read that well to distract myself.

I also had some sleepwalking episodes, and remember waking up one night inside my brother’s crib, having absolutely no recollection of how on Earth had I ended up there. Thanks God I was petite and didn’t hurt him… That was really creepy-hilarious! Oh, and I hurt my head many times on doors and walls walking in my sleep. My father told me I wasn’t walking like a mummy the way we see in movies. Just normally walking; with my eyes closed.

Not much changed since then, except that I don’t sleepwalk anymore, and have lots of ways to entertain myself during sleepless nights. Like writing a blog post!

Yay for the internet, 24 hours of TV, cable TV, DVDs, etc. It’s less boring to be insomniac nowadays!!

I envy people who sleep well. I have a friend at work who has the same troubles to sleep. The other day we realized none of us has NEVER have a peaceful, revitalizing sleep night. Ever. Even when we do sleep, is always lightly and we wake up many times during the night. Normally we wake up before the clock demands it, losing precious sleeping time as well…

Then I usually spend the whole day dozing around, and it’s very, very hard not to sleep on my desk at work. I feel almost cataleptic sometimes; I can’t control it—I just sleep. I once slept during a meeting, just me and my boss in the room! She—obviously—noticed I slept, and I promptly denied it! Ha! As if it were possible to deny sleeping!

I sleep on trains, buses—even if I’m standing. But it is a very light sleep, and I wake up after a few minutes, or if anything or anyone slightly touches me. I never even miss my stops, funny! And even weirder—I always dream. Yeah, I know, no REM sleep, no dreams, but what can I do…I dream. Even if it’s a one minute nap, I wake up from a dream! And I wished to sleep that well at night, oh, how I wished…

Because as soon as I’m ready to really sleep, pajamas on, lights off, on my bed—bam! The insomnia takes charge and what I wanted to badly during the day—sleep—becomes a hard, exhausting task. I want to sleep, my eyes are burning, my head is heavy—everything in my body is prepared and demanding rest, but my brain simply refuses to ‘turn off’. *sighs*

Well, I guess I just wanted to unload a little… I’ll get back to my task now, trying to have some sleep… It’s 02:43 in the morning here in Brazil, but at least I’m on vacation, so I don’t have to wake up early tomorrow…I mean, today!

Thanks for stopping by and reading my ramblings. Oh, and thanks for pretending you didn’t notice the typos and grammar mistakes I’m sure are all around this post—I shouldn’t be writing, you see; I should be sleeping!!