Also, something that didn't seem to be touched on in the discussion I saw: one should not expect to be rewarded for being an ally. The reward for being an ally: not being a terrible person! It would seem the OP missed out on that one, though...

I’ll be honest, I’m kind of sick of hearing about allies, talking about allies, reading about allies and all the worry worry worry about the feelings of allies.

Allies get to take their elf-friend helmets off any time it’s convenient. I’m sure many or most are wonderful people who mean well. 

But why are they even the topic? Why is so much oxygen spent on their feelings instead of the genuinely marginalized people they supposedly support? Why is it endless threads are started about the medals they deserve for being baseline decent human beings? I don’t get it, and the more I read from allies who suddenly leap up in anger when questioned in even the most civil ways just makes me glad I don’t call myself one. The quest for constant cookies is creepy and transparent.

I’m sorry to offend people who genuinely place the rights and feelings of others over their own minimal effort and eternal comfort. But I wish they would quit trying to take all the sunshine so often.

Edited to add: I don’t put myself above any of these awful behaviors, I’m sure I’ve checked off every square on the bad ally bingo card at some point. I just think allies talking about how hard it is to be an ally or how they don’t get enough appreciation for common damn decency is nauseating.