Holiday Shopping List

Sometimes it’s hard – to write a blog... Indeed it is…

Holiday Shopping List

With the holidays approaching, a number of people have asked me for suggestions on gift ideas for a writer. (Okay, nobody has really posed this question, but I write fiction so I can make this stuff up. Stick with me on this.)

After considerable thought (yes, more fiction), I have identified three items that one might consider for the writer in their life. Here they are, ranked in an order of importance best determined by individual writers.

I. Keurig Coffee Maker

Keurig coffee makers first appeared in offices, but they are increasingly showing up in residences and it’s easy to understand why. These one-cup systems accommodate differing tastes and they brew good coffee. In the case of writers, they also increase writing output.

To get a sense of the added productivity these babies unlock, consider that coffee is part of most every writer’s day. After slogging away at the keyboard for a good stretch of time it’s only natural to take a coffee break. But that’s where the problem begins. Typically, the sequence takes place along the following lines:

1) Get up and fill the coffee machine with water

2) Check the mail on your way to refrigerator

3) Get the coffee out of the fridge

4) Look through your mail

5) Call the electric company to ask why they didn’t receive last week’s payment

6) Run to the bank to pay the mortgage before the late fee kicks in

7) Get back home and set up the coffee

8) Break for lunch while the coffee is brewing

9) Eat lunch

10) Pick up where you left off with your writing

In contrast, the Keurig machine lets you brew a single cup of coffee at your writing desk. Sure, this may slow your bill paying. And, true, your lights might get turned off by the utility company and your home may be seized by the bank. But the important thing is you’ll be writing more. Total expected writing time saved by a Keurig coffee machine? I would approximate 3 hours per cup of coffee. Considering that most authors drink five or six cups of coffee a day, we’re looking at 15-18 hours a day or as 5,000 extra hours of productivity per year!

II. Internet Timer

Efficient caffeine dispensing helps, but today’s writers are also hobbled by that time-suck machine known as the Internet. Fortunately, help is on the way in the name of an Internet Timer and this can easily be added to your holiday list.

I recently spent a few days, hours, minutes checking this out on the web and I found an Internet timer that is sold to parents, one that can be easily adapted for use by writers. In fact, if enough writers sign onto this we might create new niche for the company. Consider my edits to their marketing material (below):

EZ INTERNET TIMER IS PARENT WRITER FRIENDLY

EZ Internet Timer is an easily customizable Online Timer and Internet Filter allowing parents writers to restrict or limit access to Facebook, Write On The Water and Yachtworld.com Twitter, mySpace, MSN or online games.

Ask yourself these questions:

•Is your child writer becoming addicted to Facebook, Yachtworld.com, MySpace or Twitter?

•Are internet activities getting in the way of school work publishing deadlines?

•Did your child writer forsake other activities once enjoyed writing for the Internet?

Based on my web search, Internet Timer sells for $29.95. I am sure there are other, probably cheaper, alternatives on the web, but that search would simply further my addiction.

III. The Humble Pen

If you are ready to embrace an era of increased simplicity, let’s start this year and let’s begin with the writer. Perhaps Paul Simon said it best in his lyrics to the song Hurricane Eye: