Help! My Pet Hates My Date!
Even if the pets get along–what if your furry wonder objects to your new human love?
The holidays are the perfect time to meet new people at festive parties, spend time with that new person in your life and share the joy of a happy new relationship with your fur-kids. When love is in the air, everyone’s happy, right?
So why did Sheba hiss and baptize his shoes? What’s up when King steals the bridal bouquet and growls at her voice. Why can’t your pet love your human soul mate as much as you? I wrote this article over a year ago for PawNation but they’ve taken it down–so I’m re-posting it here because I get so many folks looking for this information. Check out the ASK AMY video at the end, too.
Any change of routine can threaten a pets’ sense of security. When you spend time with your new love, your pet misses you and feels lonely—and you SMELL weird, like that stranger! Dogs and cats often feel proprietary toward their special human and take offense at new people invading their territory.
If you want to turn suspicion to adoration, don’t forget to romance the pets too. Here’s how to convince the cat and dog to welcome him—or her—into the family.
Find Dog-Neutral Territory. It helps immensely to introduce your dog to the new person on neutral territory such as the park, prior to allowing the boyfriend or girlfriend to “invade” your apartment. This gives the person a chance to play ball with King, make friends, and establish a positive association before asking the dog to make room in his home and heart.
Boost Pet Confidence. Many felines and some dogs feel shy or even fearful around strangers. Give Sheba an elevated perch such as a cat tree or chair back to help boost her confidence and make her feel safe. Ask your human guest to avoid making eye contact, which can threaten shy cats and dogs, and instead ignore the pet. That can generate curiosity and build confidence so pets want to investigate further.
Let Pets Make the First Move. Don’t force introductions. When the dog or cat does approach, demonstrate how to greet your pet. Offer a closed hand below the pet’s chin level for a proper dog sniff. That also invites cats to sniff or head-butt, a very positive sign that “marks” with kitty scent. Pets feel intimidated by strange hands coming down toward their heads, so avoid petting unless the cat or dog asks for it.
Diffuse The Angst. Fearful dogs may benefit from using a canine pheromone product called Comfort Zone with DAP that helps diffuse fear. Cats benefit from a similar pheromone product called Feliway that tells them their environment is safe. DAP and Feliway are available from pet products stores as a spray or plug-in diffuser.
Love Pets With Goodies. Help your pets associate the new person in your life with only good things. For instance, ask your soul mate to fill the food bowl, offer tasty treats, and engage in fun interactive games. Flashlight tag with the cat offers a long-distance game so Sheba can keep a safe distance but still appreciate the fun. Once your new love wins over the affection of one of the furry crew, that pet can be the role model for shyer cats and dogs.
Don’t Ignore The Fur-Kids. Make special time for your pets when you pay attention to the newcomer in the house. Ignoring the pack in favor of the new person tells your dogs they must compete for your attention. While you snuggle with your beau, make room on your lap for a cat or two, or toss tasty treats for dogs to fetch, so they associate the new person with good things. If they only get these “special” bonuses when your soul mate is present, the cat and dog will be more likely to open their heart to his or her presence.
Use Kitty Perfume. Cats identify “friends” by rubbing against them and cheek marking with scent. Speed up this scent-marking process by making the new person smell like you, someone your cat already identifies as safe and loved. Use a bit of your favorite perfume, cologne, or vanilla extract and dab just a bit on the visitor’s pant cuffs or ankles. Also dab a bit of the perfume or cologne on the back of the cats’ necks and at the base of their tails so they smell like the “scary stranger” and won’t be so fearful. If the kitty cheek-rubs your new love, consider that a positive paw-step in the right direction.
In the perfect romantic fantasy, Charming-Fella and Slender-Ella meet, fall in love, and their pets Prince and Cinders welcome the relationship with purrs and howls of delight. But when love potions, animal magnetism and charm fail to win over reluctant pets—or your new human “soul mate” refuses to make the effort—consider this:
Maybe you should listen to what the pets are trying to tell you!
Do your pets “know” when something is off with that new person in your life? What would you do if your sweetheart made you choose: them or your pets? Do you put your dates through the “pet test” to be sure they’re approved? Do tell!
I love hearing from you, so please share comments and questions. Do you have an ASK AMY question you’d like answered? Do you have a new kitten and need answers? Stay up to date on all the latest just subscribe the blog, “like” me on Facebook, listen to the weekly radio show, check out weekly FREE PUPPY CARE newsletter, and sign up for Pet Peeves newsletter. Stay up to date with the latest book give aways and appearances related to my THRILLERS WITH BITE!
Filed under: Ask Amy Videos, Cat Behavior & Care, Dog Training & Care Tagged: Amy Shojai, Ask Amy video, how to introduce pets to new people, my boyfriend hates my cat, my cat hates my sweetheart, my pet hates my date, www.amyshojai.com
