Come on, feel the noise

That's my neighborhood: just a collection of ridiculous noises that make you want to stab someone in the foot.

Last night we had high-pitched beeps in a wailing Morse code pattern. Most nights there's a symphony of mystery car alarms and helicopters. With the holiday season comes honking from the boulevard, a nice touch. In the mornings we have the excruciatingly loud garbage trucks and the weird dumpster-retrieving vehicle that makes loud quack-quacks when it's in reverse. Last Sunday afternoon a neighbor's alarm clock started going off at 4 p.m.

Brother, I do not know why you needed an alarm set for 4 p.m. or why it played In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida over and over for an hour, but when I find out who you are I will secretly give you the finger when you turn your back.

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I WAS SLEEPING