Why "thank you" matters

When people do things for me, I try to always remember to thank them.  Whether what they're doing is holding open a door, cooking a meal, or giving me a present, I say, "Thank you."  Even if the action is part of the person's job--a waiter serving a dish at a restaurant--I say, "Thank you."  I believe that this small courtesy, this tiny societal norm, is vital.

I don't hold this belief, however, simply because I was brought up to behave this way (I was) or because it is (or, at least, it was) a normal part of civil social discourse.

No, I cling tightly to the importance of this simple phrase because it acts as a reminder to each of us to be grateful, to be genuinely thankful for what others do for us.

Gratitude is so very easy to avoid.  Is it really, after all, necessary?  We did it ourselves. We worked hard.  We earned it.  We paid for it.  We deserve it. 

Except, of course, that we almost never do anything entirely by ourselves, or earn something entirely on our own.  Yes, we may pay for a service, or we may feel that we deserve something from someone else, but in the end the others have the choice not to participate, not to perform the service or give us the thing, and we should be grateful when they act for us.

I'm constantly surprised by how few people these days seem to share my feelings in this area.  Maybe it's always been this way and I just thought things were different.  Dunno.

What I am sure of is that we could all stand to be more grateful and to show that gratitude regularly.