Thought I'd Just Say....
I wrote this days ago before my little rant the other day. It's not another rant, though it may seem like it at first, but it's not. I wasn't angry or irritated. I was in a "for the record" kind of mood. Anyway, here is is...
First let me say that while most details in my books are definitely fictitous ( ie:the wealth of the families), the situations are real. Some may argue that there are too many things happening: cheating, possible alcoholism, implied drug usage, "mommy problems" and other family problems, children "concieved out of wedlock", depression, domestic violence, promiscuity, and extremely bad decision making. Maybe you've never experienced any of those things, or maybe you don't know anyone who has. I personally have been on one side or the other of all of these issues (seriously sometimes all at once) and so have a good deal of people I know or am aquainted with. That's real life, and you never know what's going on behind closed doors. I'm not at all suggesting that EVERYONE has had these experiences or knows someone who has, because I'm not one dimensional like that. I would never make the assumption that because I'm not familiar with something that it can't be or that it isn't realistic. The world is too big for us to know it all.
Also, I would like to address something important. I am truly humbled by the reviews I receive - the good with the bad, but there's one that really bothered me. The reviewer suggested that I didn't take the topic of domestic violence seriously. Of course I do! Lindsey (Pieces of Rhys) is a domestic violence survivor. The reviewer didn't think Lindsay behaved like one. She said it wasn't possible to get over it as quickly as Lindsey did. I must point out that I never implied that Lindsey was over what her ex did to her. I must also point out that not every person would react as a case study would. You can not possibly know every survivor in the world to know that. I'm well aware of the classical psychological aspects of abuse victims. I've not only studied it in psych classes, but have seen it with my own eyes.
Furthermore, without putting too much of my personal life out there, my female lead characters are a part of me in some ways, but I relate best to Lindsay. Make of that what you will, but understand that just because Lindsey and I don't fit into that mold like we're "supposed to" doesn't mean that our experiences or pain is non existent. Darkness does not always breed darkness. Sometimes it just fades away into light and I would hope that most people would get that when reading POR, if they really needed to get all the deep with it. And even though I just referred to Lindsey almost as a real person (I'm allowed to because I freakin' made her!!), remember that the story itself is FICTION. I can make her behave any way that I want. I made her attitude much like my own, and again, she's part of me....
Sorry, Reviewer To Not Be Named, but I never have and never will fit into any mold, psychological or otherwise. If you don't like the book, that's fine, but please DO NOT assume you know how I feel on the subject of domestic violence, because I have entirely too many thoughts, feelings, and memories regarding the issue. I would NEVER undermine "the real pain" people actually go through. This was MY point of view, not theirs. And for the women who ARE survivors, don't let anyone tell you how you SHOULD act.
Onward...
Emmy
At the beginning of the story, Emmy was CCC- confident, content, and carefree. Except for a little bit of loneliness from time to time, she was okay with her life. Remember Em dancing around in her kitchen in her underwear with a bottle of tequila? Some say she was juevenile in the beginning. I wouldn't use that term, but I am willing to admit that she was definitely...younger. As the story grows more serious, her maturity level grows as well.
Emmy doesn't have any lousy history to blame her change in behavior on. She made a poor decision in the very beginning and it snowballed from there. It only takes one bad decision to change everything, to ultimately change a person. How many of us really mean to do stupid things? Who wakes up in the morning and says "I'm pretty content with my life right now. I think I'll shake things up by cheating on my wonderful significant other and I'm going to do every terrible thing I've never considered doing before!"? But it happens, and not just to people with baggage or "good reason" to behave like that. Ever see A Walk on the Moon, Unfaithful, or Closer? I'm sure there's a great deal more of other movies.
Emmy lies to herself at first about what she's doing, but as time goes on, she is acutely aware of how much she's messed up her life and the lives of others. When she and Luke are having a heated discussion about her, she wasn't really being sarcastic. Bitter maybe, but not with him. It was inwardly directed. She never implies that life was perfect, even in the end. She admitted to her friends she was afraid she'd hurt Luke and she admitted to the reader that she will probably make more mistakes, though I never suggested on what scale said mistakes would be. She also said that she was still healing from the past. We just have to hope for the best for Emmy!
Kyle
Kyle is such a dick! But he has his reasons...not that it excuses him. He is torn between trying to keep the family business from crashing from the secrets Jess is keeping and committing to Emmy. He's selfish, just as selfish as she is, choosing to keep both women instead of moving on from one or the other. His reasons make more sense than Emmy's - who really has no reason except for her own weaknesses. Kyle's life is all work and no love, but Emmy is able to give him that. She is more than a lover to him, but she comforts him. Now I'm going too far - you'll have to read about Kyle's thoughts later. ;) Just know that even though he's a douche puddle, he truly really loved Em.
Luke
Yum. Luke. Luke is a stand up kind of guy. He knew there was something fishy going on between Em and Kyle, but he didn't really know anything for sure at first. Rumors in the work place are always subjective. He loved Emmy before they even started dating. Keeping that in mind, maybe then one can understand why he stayed with her even when he really realized that she was cheating. Men and women do it all of the time - stick with someone who doesn't deserve them. How many politicians wives have stood next to their husbands while they admitted their infidelities?
As for later in the story, Luke probably believes Emmy has been punished enough, and as her new role in his life, he sees her in a different light. She does, in essence, become a different person after all.
Other Stuff
I did touch too much on Tabitha and Mayson with no explanation. They each have their own story to tell, but they're not as forthcoming right now. The truth is, I started Tabitha's story months before I started on AOP but Emmy, Kyle and Luke were demanding in having their story told. Now I'm studying Tabitha from all different angles and trying to give her some justice. Working on it...I apologize to my readers for that.
The twist wasn't thrown in as a way to make Kyle an automatic bad guy. Again, real life-like. People do unintentional things under the influence, though being under the influence was the first wrong step. I didn't throw it in as a way to end the book, because I could have ended it there. In fact, I had originally wrote a more violent encounter and had it earlier in the book, but I didn't like the way the story flowed after that. The way the book is now (minus any errors) is just the way I want it, and I personally love it.
As for Em's issues with her mom, I know real life moms that could blow Samantha out of the water. Scary thought!
Why didn't Emmy find another job after she got involved with Kyle? She thought she could handle the situation, even when it was clearly out of control. That's so classic me. I always think I can handle a bad situation and totally can't. Sometimes, I'll admit, I just hope the problem will go away on it's own.
The baby daddy? Emmy said that she did the math. I have five kids, guys. I've been able to trace back to the encounter that started the creation process. Her relationship with Kyle wasn't purely sexual. She didn't necessarily sleep with him every day.
I don't like writing about virginal, innocent women like Bella, Ana, and Julianne or women with issues like Eva. They're all addicted to their fancy speaking men, which is fine. I LOVE reading about them, but writing about them isn't for me. I wanted to write about someone more relatable - by no means virginal and innocent, but not someone with too many skeletons in her closet. Even Kyle is relatable - I know a Kyle or two (seriously not as cute though), and I know a few like Luke (also not as cute). I feel that even Em's addiction to Kyle is rather realistic. It wasn't a sweet, doe eyed, I'll follow you into the dark (Deathcab For Cutie) kind of addiction. It was rather volatile, unhealthy, and definitely unstable, but at the same time it was hot and emotional. If you can't relate, though, sorry. I can't relate to vampires that sparkle in the sun either, but I still loved the book and hope you enjoyed mine as well.
First let me say that while most details in my books are definitely fictitous ( ie:the wealth of the families), the situations are real. Some may argue that there are too many things happening: cheating, possible alcoholism, implied drug usage, "mommy problems" and other family problems, children "concieved out of wedlock", depression, domestic violence, promiscuity, and extremely bad decision making. Maybe you've never experienced any of those things, or maybe you don't know anyone who has. I personally have been on one side or the other of all of these issues (seriously sometimes all at once) and so have a good deal of people I know or am aquainted with. That's real life, and you never know what's going on behind closed doors. I'm not at all suggesting that EVERYONE has had these experiences or knows someone who has, because I'm not one dimensional like that. I would never make the assumption that because I'm not familiar with something that it can't be or that it isn't realistic. The world is too big for us to know it all.
Also, I would like to address something important. I am truly humbled by the reviews I receive - the good with the bad, but there's one that really bothered me. The reviewer suggested that I didn't take the topic of domestic violence seriously. Of course I do! Lindsey (Pieces of Rhys) is a domestic violence survivor. The reviewer didn't think Lindsay behaved like one. She said it wasn't possible to get over it as quickly as Lindsey did. I must point out that I never implied that Lindsey was over what her ex did to her. I must also point out that not every person would react as a case study would. You can not possibly know every survivor in the world to know that. I'm well aware of the classical psychological aspects of abuse victims. I've not only studied it in psych classes, but have seen it with my own eyes.
Furthermore, without putting too much of my personal life out there, my female lead characters are a part of me in some ways, but I relate best to Lindsay. Make of that what you will, but understand that just because Lindsey and I don't fit into that mold like we're "supposed to" doesn't mean that our experiences or pain is non existent. Darkness does not always breed darkness. Sometimes it just fades away into light and I would hope that most people would get that when reading POR, if they really needed to get all the deep with it. And even though I just referred to Lindsey almost as a real person (I'm allowed to because I freakin' made her!!), remember that the story itself is FICTION. I can make her behave any way that I want. I made her attitude much like my own, and again, she's part of me....
Sorry, Reviewer To Not Be Named, but I never have and never will fit into any mold, psychological or otherwise. If you don't like the book, that's fine, but please DO NOT assume you know how I feel on the subject of domestic violence, because I have entirely too many thoughts, feelings, and memories regarding the issue. I would NEVER undermine "the real pain" people actually go through. This was MY point of view, not theirs. And for the women who ARE survivors, don't let anyone tell you how you SHOULD act.
Onward...
Emmy
At the beginning of the story, Emmy was CCC- confident, content, and carefree. Except for a little bit of loneliness from time to time, she was okay with her life. Remember Em dancing around in her kitchen in her underwear with a bottle of tequila? Some say she was juevenile in the beginning. I wouldn't use that term, but I am willing to admit that she was definitely...younger. As the story grows more serious, her maturity level grows as well.
Emmy doesn't have any lousy history to blame her change in behavior on. She made a poor decision in the very beginning and it snowballed from there. It only takes one bad decision to change everything, to ultimately change a person. How many of us really mean to do stupid things? Who wakes up in the morning and says "I'm pretty content with my life right now. I think I'll shake things up by cheating on my wonderful significant other and I'm going to do every terrible thing I've never considered doing before!"? But it happens, and not just to people with baggage or "good reason" to behave like that. Ever see A Walk on the Moon, Unfaithful, or Closer? I'm sure there's a great deal more of other movies.
Emmy lies to herself at first about what she's doing, but as time goes on, she is acutely aware of how much she's messed up her life and the lives of others. When she and Luke are having a heated discussion about her, she wasn't really being sarcastic. Bitter maybe, but not with him. It was inwardly directed. She never implies that life was perfect, even in the end. She admitted to her friends she was afraid she'd hurt Luke and she admitted to the reader that she will probably make more mistakes, though I never suggested on what scale said mistakes would be. She also said that she was still healing from the past. We just have to hope for the best for Emmy!
Kyle
Kyle is such a dick! But he has his reasons...not that it excuses him. He is torn between trying to keep the family business from crashing from the secrets Jess is keeping and committing to Emmy. He's selfish, just as selfish as she is, choosing to keep both women instead of moving on from one or the other. His reasons make more sense than Emmy's - who really has no reason except for her own weaknesses. Kyle's life is all work and no love, but Emmy is able to give him that. She is more than a lover to him, but she comforts him. Now I'm going too far - you'll have to read about Kyle's thoughts later. ;) Just know that even though he's a douche puddle, he truly really loved Em.
Luke
Yum. Luke. Luke is a stand up kind of guy. He knew there was something fishy going on between Em and Kyle, but he didn't really know anything for sure at first. Rumors in the work place are always subjective. He loved Emmy before they even started dating. Keeping that in mind, maybe then one can understand why he stayed with her even when he really realized that she was cheating. Men and women do it all of the time - stick with someone who doesn't deserve them. How many politicians wives have stood next to their husbands while they admitted their infidelities?
As for later in the story, Luke probably believes Emmy has been punished enough, and as her new role in his life, he sees her in a different light. She does, in essence, become a different person after all.
Other Stuff
I did touch too much on Tabitha and Mayson with no explanation. They each have their own story to tell, but they're not as forthcoming right now. The truth is, I started Tabitha's story months before I started on AOP but Emmy, Kyle and Luke were demanding in having their story told. Now I'm studying Tabitha from all different angles and trying to give her some justice. Working on it...I apologize to my readers for that.
The twist wasn't thrown in as a way to make Kyle an automatic bad guy. Again, real life-like. People do unintentional things under the influence, though being under the influence was the first wrong step. I didn't throw it in as a way to end the book, because I could have ended it there. In fact, I had originally wrote a more violent encounter and had it earlier in the book, but I didn't like the way the story flowed after that. The way the book is now (minus any errors) is just the way I want it, and I personally love it.
As for Em's issues with her mom, I know real life moms that could blow Samantha out of the water. Scary thought!
Why didn't Emmy find another job after she got involved with Kyle? She thought she could handle the situation, even when it was clearly out of control. That's so classic me. I always think I can handle a bad situation and totally can't. Sometimes, I'll admit, I just hope the problem will go away on it's own.
The baby daddy? Emmy said that she did the math. I have five kids, guys. I've been able to trace back to the encounter that started the creation process. Her relationship with Kyle wasn't purely sexual. She didn't necessarily sleep with him every day.
I don't like writing about virginal, innocent women like Bella, Ana, and Julianne or women with issues like Eva. They're all addicted to their fancy speaking men, which is fine. I LOVE reading about them, but writing about them isn't for me. I wanted to write about someone more relatable - by no means virginal and innocent, but not someone with too many skeletons in her closet. Even Kyle is relatable - I know a Kyle or two (seriously not as cute though), and I know a few like Luke (also not as cute). I feel that even Em's addiction to Kyle is rather realistic. It wasn't a sweet, doe eyed, I'll follow you into the dark (Deathcab For Cutie) kind of addiction. It was rather volatile, unhealthy, and definitely unstable, but at the same time it was hot and emotional. If you can't relate, though, sorry. I can't relate to vampires that sparkle in the sun either, but I still loved the book and hope you enjoyed mine as well.
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No explanation needed. You did what a good author is supposed to do and that it is to have your readers wrapped up and entwined in the characters. You have much more positive reviews than negatives... Such is to be expected.Great work
I'm with you. I related to emmy in so many ways, the mommy issues, the cheating it is all real life. I balled my eyes out during this book. Thatvmeans something in your writing and story telling. Thank you it was a fabulous book!
I absolutely loved Accidentally on Purpose. I love when a book can make me feel a multitude of emotions. Real life is messy!
Hey J.D...as someone who worked for five years in a Domestic Violence shelter and worked EXTENSIVELY with victims and their families of both domestic and sexual violence, I think you handled the difficult subject with grace and sensitivity. There is NO patent reaction to violence...everyone responds differently. It may be hard for some people to understand the way individuals behave, but there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. You can't expect everyone to understand that...but I say kudos to you for tackling something that is so taboo and hard to talk about. Good on ya girl! :-)
I thought it was fantastic! And the twist was perfect. It was such a refreshing change to read about people that are relatable. They make bad decisions, but aren't inherently bad people. You should be very proud of your work!!
I don't normally care for stories where there is serious cheating involved but I just finished your book and I LOVED it. I will be reading more books from you so please keep them coming!
Pretty sure that's all that really matters ;-)