HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

CAN ADULTERY BE JUSTIFIED?


Proverbs 5

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)


Avoid Seduction


5 My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
listen closely[a] to my understanding
2 so that you may maintain discretion
and your lips safeguard knowledge.
3 Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey
and her words are[b] smoother than oil,
4 in the end she’s as bitter as wormwood
and as sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps head straight for Sheol.
6 She doesn’t consider the path of life;
she doesn’t know that her ways are unstable.



7 So now, my sons, listen to me,
and don’t turn away from the words of my mouth.
8 Keep your way far from her.
Don’t go near the door of her house.
9 Otherwise, you will give up your vitality to others
and your years to someone cruel;
10 strangers will drain your resources,
and your earnings will end up in a foreigner’s house.
11 At the end of your life, you will lament
when your physical body has been consumed,
12 and you will say, “How I hated discipline,
and how my heart despised correction.
13 I didn’t obey my teachers
or listen closely[c] to my mentors.
14 I am on the verge of complete ruin
before the entire community.”


Enjoy Marriage

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
water flowing from your own well.
16 Should your springs flow in the streets,
streams of water in the public squares?
17 They should be for you alone
and not for you to share with strangers.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful fawn—
let her breasts always satisfy you;
be lost in her love forever.
20 Why, my son, would you be infatuated
with a forbidden woman
or embrace the breast of a stranger?
21 For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes,
and He considers all his paths.

 

Hi everyone, welcome to a brand new month, and week. This is the last month of the year, and I know that it really gets hectic for so many people as they prepare for the festivities that come with this time of the year, and plan ahead for the up coming year.  I originally planned to do a series of
stories on the menace of child sexual abuse, but I have decided to hold on, because  I will not be able to do justice to the topic at this time. My church is preparing to host the Experience, 2012
on the 7th of December at the TBS in Lagos, and this week is going to be a hectic one, as preparations heat up for the hosting of this greatest, interdenominational, gospel music concert of all times.









 I came across an update by one of my Facebook friends, Kate Halim, and asked permission to share. I would love your thoughts on this, but before I proceed, I will share a discussion that I had this morning, on infidelity with a friend, after she sent me the poster above.  I had sent her the link to this post, and she responded by sending me the poster above, via black berry messenger.




Friend: 

Morning dear, this is part of my reply to your
question, ‘How Much is too Much?’ When men spend too
much time trying to satisfy  all and sundry and are not able to satisfy the main
one. Abeg! It
becomes too much.











Me: 

(Laughing) Thanks for sharing the poster. I will upload
it to my blog.  A lot of women are ready to take
anything the man dishes out-they mostly seem to condone it, by saying that men
are  like that,
or that, it’s the woman’s fault.

Friend:

Yes, o. They
will round it up by saying that you are not doing your bit as a wife.

Me: 

Or that, the woman is not satisfying the man in some
way. So, the man is not held accountable for his
actions. Even the fact that he is  a
Christian, and is accountable to God, does not seem to count for
something. It is only the woman, who is expected to work out her salvation with
fear and trembling
while the man does what he likes because, ‘men are like that.’ That’s what a
lot of women are
saying indirectly, when they justify a man’s philandering ways.  It’s over spiricoco. I  no dey.

Friend:  

 My dear, I
tire o. Can you imagine that? Sometimes we encourage our men to do the  things they do. Honestly, some Christian women make it look like a sin to
voice your unhappiness
to your partner, at his maltreatment of you. They believe that  you should just suffer
in silence, but this can lead to high blood pressure, stroke. Mental issues,
and so on. Who
loses at the end of the day? The children, who now become deprived of a mother, either
through ill health, or death. And what does the man do? He runs after another woman.
I am with you, I no dey! Gbam!

Me:

Very correct. I
expect my husband to be faithful, even as I stay faithful, and I make demands on his faithfulness, but  I know that
he will be tempted. He is human...

Friend:   

Thank you,
but so can a woman too.

Me: 

It is comforting to see a man strive to ensure that he  stays faithful, despite the temptations. Yes, lots of
women cheat as well.

Friend: 

A man once said that it is a thing of the mind. If
you make up your mind not to cheat, you won’t.
Just walk away from it, but you stay there, near where the sin is, you can’t
resist, then you
fall. And some after they fall, are not
repentant.

Me:

Which is
difficult for many men-walking away. They just give in to their lusts because
it is easier to do so,
than walk away. And because, they know that their wives will take their rubbish and keep on taking.

Friend:

I can excuse
a one time cheat, maybe twice, but consistently, abeg, you are out of the door o.

Me:

No woman
should condone it.

Friend:

But they do,
and suffer in silence. No way! I have my life to live, and I intend to live it
in peace as
God wanted it.






A lot of women say that the man can cheat as long as he lives up to his responsibilities at home, as long as he protects himself, or she does not know about  it. So much has been said on this topic, but note that adultery, is not just the exclusive preserve of the men; a lot of women cheat as well, but people tend to excuse and rationalize a man's adultery, more than the woman's because it is widely argued that the man is polygamous by nature. This makes it look as if two sets of rules apply-one for the women, and another, for the men, but can cheating be justified for any reason at all? How much is too much for a woman to take from a cheating man in the name of marriage?  Is cheating a deal breaker in a relationship? How would you handle it, if you discovered that your man was cheating? Below, is the status update by Kate:







Any
woman who has a serial cheating husband, and doesn't hold him
accountable, but is letting him come back to be intimate is just plain
stupid on her part. The man has no fear of God, lacks respect for you as
his wife, has commitment issues, and probably is not accountable to
anyone sensible who can tell him the truth and call him to order when is
heading down the road of destruction. A man who sleeps with 2 or more
girls or women aside his wife without protection needs to be left alone.
At the end of the day, his wife suffers for his escapades when he
catches the dreaded virus. And yet, society wants her to stick with him,
always clean up his silly acts and ultimately die with him because she
has to be a virtuous woman. After all, he takes care of her and she
shouldn't complain about his philandering ways. As a matter of fact, she
is supposed to close her eyes to his numerous affairs, pretend it is
not happening, and even run from church to church to pray for him while
he is having fun with everything in skirt, trousers and pants. It is
time to hold men accountable for their actions. Women are not robots!
There's a limit to what someone can take from another human being in a
marriage.

               -Kate Halim