Two Days Away

The Bubble Gum Thief will be released in two days. This is the culmination of years of work, revisions, and negotiations.  The notion that the book might be published was the fantasy that got me through the worst parts of all of those things.  But what’s striking about this moment is how small it feels.  Being a “published author” pales in comparison to being a father, or a husband, or a son, or a friend.  So much of our passion for something is generated from the wholly-unreasonable expectation that life will be immeasurably altered and improved once some level of success is achieved.  But success, small or large, doesn’t change much about us at all.  And when success feels small, it’s because we realize just how much bigger the rest of the things in life really are.  

We’re two days away from the publication of a book I worked on for years, and it’s never felt less important to me.  That’s not to say that I don’t want the book to be a success (I hope it is) or that I don’t care if people like it (I care a lot).  It’s just that the moment could never live up to the expectations, and that as big as it is, it’s still smaller than the fact that we are trying to sleep-train the seven-month-old this week.