The Philematologist and Mistletoe
As a paranormal romance writer with the holidays upon us, a blog about kissing and mistletoe seemed like a no-brainer.
First, let’s talk about the wonderfully intimate gesture of kissing. I’m Italian and we love to kiss as many people as we can, as often as we can. When people arrive, when people leave and when they pass the wine, but I’m talking about a real knee weakening, heart-pounding kiss.
Philematology is the very unromantic science of the kiss. Philematologists are dedicated to discovering the reason why humans kiss. Some believe it’s a learned behavior that evolved from our early female ancestors who chewed their food then passed it mouth-to-mouth to their young. Mr. Freud supposed our desire to kiss was a subconscious need to relive the suckling at our mother’s breast.
Not all humans kiss. Ten percent of the world’s population does not and a small percentage of humans find kissing gross and unsanitary. Obviously, they have never been properly kissed.
Others argue kissing is fundamental to our survival, therefore instinct. When we kiss another human being, we exchange pheromones and our primal use of scent comes to play. One study found women prefer men to smell of different proteins from her, which would provide their offspring with a strong immune system and thus survive better. Really? I wouldn’t know one protein’s aroma from another but I do agree that if that first kiss goes bad, the relationship usually comes to a screeching halt. Could kissing be the first test of whom we are compatible with?
Let’s move on to the romantic mistletoe. Oh, um…mistletoe by nature is a parasitic plant that grows on the trunks of trees sucking the nutrients from them. The berries are poisonous to humans and it contains toxics that weaken and sometimes kill its host tree.
Okay, let's not dwell on that...
We have to give a huge shout of thanks to the Celtic Druids for our love of mistletoe. They believed it could heal, bring good luck and bestow fertility on people and their animals. They considered the mistletoe that grew on Oak trees to be sacred. It was gathered on the winter and summer solstice with a golden sickle then hung it over doorways as a sign of peace and goodwill.
The sweetest story comes from our Norse friends and their beautiful Goddess of Love, Frigga. Frigga’s son, Baldar, God of the Summer Sun dreamt of his death and this worried his mother. She asked air, fire, water, earth and all the animals and plants to promise they would not harm her son. They did and she felt confident that Baldar would be safe from anything on or under the earth. But she made a lethal mistake and overlooked mistletoe, which grew on trees, not on or under the earth. Loki, God of Evil and Baldar’s enemy, made an arrow tip of mistletoe and had Hoder, Blind God of Winter shoot it, killing Baldar. Nature’s elements tried to bring Baldar back to life but in the end, it was Frigga who succeeded. In her happiness, Frigga kissed everyone who passed under the tree from which the mistletoe grew and declared that a kiss, not harm, will come to those who stand under mistletoe.
Centuries later, it became an old English custom to pick a berry off the mistletoe every time a kiss was given. When the berries were gone, the kissing stopped. I’m sure that was motivation to find the biggest bundle of mistletoe with the most berries to bring to the Christmas party.
So let the Philematologist keep searching for answers, (maybe some mistletoe would help with their research) but I think we can all agree that we kiss our sweeties because we like it and it feels good. That’s good enough for me.
May your holiday season be filled with joy, happiness, good times with family and friends and many soul-stirring kisses under the mistletoe.
