Re-Posting for the pending 4th of July 2012.
Independence Day once again here in the United States of America. Here's the latest post on the concept of libery, from a passionate advocate of it. It's about a segment of our society consistently denied that liberty.
“Why are you involved in the struggle for gay rights?” It’s a question I hear often as I attend rallies, gay rights gatherings, HRC meetups, the occasional Stonewall, or Equality Ohio, or PFFLAG event. I suppose as a straight, male, middle-class, white, recovering Catholic, the question is a good one. Why indeed?
It came up again the other day. My wife and I were at a HRC evening in the Short North. I was asked to put in my nickel’s worth, so I did. Afterward, I decided to get serious about the question itself, commit to paper just why it is the gay rights struggle is indeed so important to me. And here’s the result.
I’m not interested in gay rights; I’m interested in human rights. Does the LGBT community need straight allies like my wife and me? I would say yes, though I’m confident the community can speak for itself, so we’re grateful that our LBGT friends seem to accept us, even consider us safe, which is a bit sad when you think about it. Do gays have a legitimate reason to demand their rights? Well, let me see, can I get: fired or not hired/evicted/booted out/beaten up/harassed/forced from a school board/kept from adopting/prevented from running for office/prevented from marrying the person I love/killed for being a straight male middle-class formerly Christian white guy? Probably not. I take all those previously listed ‘rights and benefits’ pretty much for granted.
When I start my day, I assume that I’m going to still have my job, my access to places, my safety, my marriage, my residence, my agency as an adult, and the other myriad facilities and comforts of my position in society (times 1138 if I’m married, which I am). Indeed, I never question any of those things. They’re available to me, just for the taking. Of course I can do all the listed things, come and go as I please, assume that I’m safe holding hands with my beloved walking down High street, or Low Street, even Gay Street, which is beyond ironic. This is twenty-first century America, right? The land of the free, and the home of the brave, right? This is a place where anyone who works hard, obeys the law, pays taxes, pays attention, tries to be a good citizen, avoids jaywalking to excess, doesn’t frighten the horses, and minds her own business should be able to assume everything I do, right? And we all can, of course--unless you happen to be gay. Then all bets are off.
But wait a minute. Here’s where it gets really dense and complicated for me. You see, I’m a really simple man. I tend to see the world in black and white, no frills, no embellishment, just out front and easy, that’s me. Some would say naive,’ and they’re probably right. When I stood up in third grade and put my hand over my heart, stared at the flag in the corner of the classroom, and chanted along with those other bright-eyed, snot-nose kids: “...with liberty and justice for all...” I really believed that, see? That word ‘ALL’ was really comforting to me, somehow. The simplicity of it. ALL. There’s no wiggle room there, no shading, no ambiguity. It doesn’t say “...with liberty and justice for white, middle-class, heterosexual, Christian males who own a yacht.” It doesn’t say that. It says--ALL. Comforting, isn’t it? I think so, but I’m a simple guy.
Except it’s not simple, because we insist on making exceptions to it, slicing and dicing it, and getting ourselves ALL wrapped up in rules, and differences, and nuance that twists things into pretzel shapes, and makes distinctions, and creates divisions, and that makes us look really hypocritical, and just bad. (Third graders would be confused by this, and who could blame them?)
So here’s the deal. When people ask me why I’m involved in the gay rights struggle, I have two responses: the first one is my standard smart-ass response--why are you not? It works only on certain groups, and not so much on others. My second response is this: As a guy who has taken all those rights and protections and benefits for granted all my life, as highfalutin’ and altruistic as it sounds, I really do feel I have a responsibility to see that anyone who is denied those things has at least the opportunity to acquire and enjoy them on an equal basis with me. This, to me, is the essence of being an American. Anecdotally, it happens to be one of the reasons I spent more than 30 years in uniform defending the principles described above. I didn’t spend a year in Vietnam for instance, just for my health.
In my opinion, the act of denying another citizen the rights, benefits, legal protections, and assurances of this society, that act is itself UN-American. For those who insist that our LGBT brothers and sisters be denied the rights heterosexual Americans enjoy every day, I say to you, your actions are un-American. There’s no shading, enabling or ambiguity in that phrase. That denial is against what this country stands for, and thereby, in my simple mind, Un-American. In particular, for those who deny any citizen of this country access to civil marriage because of who they are, that, my friend, is un-American. And don’t drag out your Bible, your Koran, or any other religious tome to justify this denial. I’m not talking about holy matrimony, or church weddings, or America’s brides and grooms industry. I’m talking about civil marriage. If someone visits a government office for a building permit, a tax matter, a driver’s permit, or to register to vote, they need not bring along their Bible. I can cite a few countries that use religious texts to back up their legal adjudications: Iran, Iraq, Saudi-Arabia come to mind. In Afghanistan the Taliban check to see if everyone has their Koran handy, and if not... Well, it’s not pretty.
Speaking of Civil Marriage Equality, this is the signature issue by which we Americans truly demonstrate who we are, either a nation of religious bigots, or a nation of laws. Civil marriage equality will only strengthen marriage, not threaten it. The threat to marriage in society today is heterosexual divorce. Good Lord, if only people who were sin free could marry we’d be a nation of singles. It sure as hell leaves me out.
It’s a no brainer for me. LGBT rights are human rights. I’m no Tea Party Patriot, no jingoistic, flag-waving, street-corner renegade, despite what my Republican friends might say, either one of the two. I love this country, and the idea behind it. When we Americans fail in our efforts to address the inequities around us, I get involved. I speak up. Why do I do that? You tell me.
(And tune in tomorrow when I list yet another reason--it's personal, bring a hankie.
“Why are you involved in the struggle for gay rights?” It’s a question I hear often as I attend rallies, gay rights gatherings, HRC meetups, the occasional Stonewall, or Equality Ohio, or PFFLAG event. I suppose as a straight, male, middle-class, white, recovering Catholic, the question is a good one. Why indeed?
It came up again the other day. My wife and I were at a HRC evening in the Short North. I was asked to put in my nickel’s worth, so I did. Afterward, I decided to get serious about the question itself, commit to paper just why it is the gay rights struggle is indeed so important to me. And here’s the result.
I’m not interested in gay rights; I’m interested in human rights. Does the LGBT community need straight allies like my wife and me? I would say yes, though I’m confident the community can speak for itself, so we’re grateful that our LBGT friends seem to accept us, even consider us safe, which is a bit sad when you think about it. Do gays have a legitimate reason to demand their rights? Well, let me see, can I get: fired or not hired/evicted/booted out/beaten up/harassed/forced from a school board/kept from adopting/prevented from running for office/prevented from marrying the person I love/killed for being a straight male middle-class formerly Christian white guy? Probably not. I take all those previously listed ‘rights and benefits’ pretty much for granted.
When I start my day, I assume that I’m going to still have my job, my access to places, my safety, my marriage, my residence, my agency as an adult, and the other myriad facilities and comforts of my position in society (times 1138 if I’m married, which I am). Indeed, I never question any of those things. They’re available to me, just for the taking. Of course I can do all the listed things, come and go as I please, assume that I’m safe holding hands with my beloved walking down High street, or Low Street, even Gay Street, which is beyond ironic. This is twenty-first century America, right? The land of the free, and the home of the brave, right? This is a place where anyone who works hard, obeys the law, pays taxes, pays attention, tries to be a good citizen, avoids jaywalking to excess, doesn’t frighten the horses, and minds her own business should be able to assume everything I do, right? And we all can, of course--unless you happen to be gay. Then all bets are off.
But wait a minute. Here’s where it gets really dense and complicated for me. You see, I’m a really simple man. I tend to see the world in black and white, no frills, no embellishment, just out front and easy, that’s me. Some would say naive,’ and they’re probably right. When I stood up in third grade and put my hand over my heart, stared at the flag in the corner of the classroom, and chanted along with those other bright-eyed, snot-nose kids: “...with liberty and justice for all...” I really believed that, see? That word ‘ALL’ was really comforting to me, somehow. The simplicity of it. ALL. There’s no wiggle room there, no shading, no ambiguity. It doesn’t say “...with liberty and justice for white, middle-class, heterosexual, Christian males who own a yacht.” It doesn’t say that. It says--ALL. Comforting, isn’t it? I think so, but I’m a simple guy.
Except it’s not simple, because we insist on making exceptions to it, slicing and dicing it, and getting ourselves ALL wrapped up in rules, and differences, and nuance that twists things into pretzel shapes, and makes distinctions, and creates divisions, and that makes us look really hypocritical, and just bad. (Third graders would be confused by this, and who could blame them?)
So here’s the deal. When people ask me why I’m involved in the gay rights struggle, I have two responses: the first one is my standard smart-ass response--why are you not? It works only on certain groups, and not so much on others. My second response is this: As a guy who has taken all those rights and protections and benefits for granted all my life, as highfalutin’ and altruistic as it sounds, I really do feel I have a responsibility to see that anyone who is denied those things has at least the opportunity to acquire and enjoy them on an equal basis with me. This, to me, is the essence of being an American. Anecdotally, it happens to be one of the reasons I spent more than 30 years in uniform defending the principles described above. I didn’t spend a year in Vietnam for instance, just for my health.
In my opinion, the act of denying another citizen the rights, benefits, legal protections, and assurances of this society, that act is itself UN-American. For those who insist that our LGBT brothers and sisters be denied the rights heterosexual Americans enjoy every day, I say to you, your actions are un-American. There’s no shading, enabling or ambiguity in that phrase. That denial is against what this country stands for, and thereby, in my simple mind, Un-American. In particular, for those who deny any citizen of this country access to civil marriage because of who they are, that, my friend, is un-American. And don’t drag out your Bible, your Koran, or any other religious tome to justify this denial. I’m not talking about holy matrimony, or church weddings, or America’s brides and grooms industry. I’m talking about civil marriage. If someone visits a government office for a building permit, a tax matter, a driver’s permit, or to register to vote, they need not bring along their Bible. I can cite a few countries that use religious texts to back up their legal adjudications: Iran, Iraq, Saudi-Arabia come to mind. In Afghanistan the Taliban check to see if everyone has their Koran handy, and if not... Well, it’s not pretty.
Speaking of Civil Marriage Equality, this is the signature issue by which we Americans truly demonstrate who we are, either a nation of religious bigots, or a nation of laws. Civil marriage equality will only strengthen marriage, not threaten it. The threat to marriage in society today is heterosexual divorce. Good Lord, if only people who were sin free could marry we’d be a nation of singles. It sure as hell leaves me out.
It’s a no brainer for me. LGBT rights are human rights. I’m no Tea Party Patriot, no jingoistic, flag-waving, street-corner renegade, despite what my Republican friends might say, either one of the two. I love this country, and the idea behind it. When we Americans fail in our efforts to address the inequities around us, I get involved. I speak up. Why do I do that? You tell me.
(And tune in tomorrow when I list yet another reason--it's personal, bring a hankie.
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