THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH (UNLESS YOUR NAME IS ROMNEY!)
POOR MITT ROMNEY. Much like one of those Make-A-Wish kids, he finally got to live out a lifelong fantasy: having lunch in the Oval Office. Of course it was bittersweet; his role somewhat different than the one he'd imagined. Sort of like losing that Swedish exchange student (rumored to have had a brief career in German porn) to your college roommate -- then being asked to drive the happy couple to Rite Aide, to pick up some chloroform and boner pills.
President Obama graciously kept his promise to invite Mitt over after trouncing him in the election. So while the POTUS lunched on Southwestern chicken salad, Mitt ate his crow (skin removed) and humble pie, and everyone pretended there was some actual point to it all. Perhaps Obama had a plan for Romney? A project? Something to do? Maybe after lunch, he'd have Mitt run outside and measure all the cracks in Pennsylvania Avenue?
When I was a teenager, I used to measure all the cracks in the parking lot of the Staten Island Mall. Did it every summer. While measuring cracks in Staten Island may sound like a good time to some, I can assure you it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds.
My father owned a small paving company. Each year he dutifully sealed all the cracks in the Mall's asphalt with a viscous, foul-smelling, tar-like substance known as "A.C." To make me feel useful (and keep me out of trouble), he assigned me the task of of measuring each crack. Equipped with a wheel-like device fitted to a retractable handle, I'd simply roll it over the cracks. Every hundred feet it made a "dinging" sound, which I checked off on a piece of paper. Just somethin' to do.
I hope that President Obama will find something useful for Mitt to do. Whether it's measuring cracks, or advising him on Latin American affairs. Everyone deserves the dignity of work. And an occasional free lunch.
President Obama graciously kept his promise to invite Mitt over after trouncing him in the election. So while the POTUS lunched on Southwestern chicken salad, Mitt ate his crow (skin removed) and humble pie, and everyone pretended there was some actual point to it all. Perhaps Obama had a plan for Romney? A project? Something to do? Maybe after lunch, he'd have Mitt run outside and measure all the cracks in Pennsylvania Avenue?
When I was a teenager, I used to measure all the cracks in the parking lot of the Staten Island Mall. Did it every summer. While measuring cracks in Staten Island may sound like a good time to some, I can assure you it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds.
My father owned a small paving company. Each year he dutifully sealed all the cracks in the Mall's asphalt with a viscous, foul-smelling, tar-like substance known as "A.C." To make me feel useful (and keep me out of trouble), he assigned me the task of of measuring each crack. Equipped with a wheel-like device fitted to a retractable handle, I'd simply roll it over the cracks. Every hundred feet it made a "dinging" sound, which I checked off on a piece of paper. Just somethin' to do.
I hope that President Obama will find something useful for Mitt to do. Whether it's measuring cracks, or advising him on Latin American affairs. Everyone deserves the dignity of work. And an occasional free lunch.
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