Writer’s Tip #30: Too Many Prepositional Phrases is Bad

When you read your story, does it sound off, maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know you’ve done something wrong? Sometimes–maybe even lots of times–there are simple fixes. These writer’s tips will come at you once a week, giving you plenty of time to go through your story and make the adjustments.


Today’s tip: Don’t string one prepositional phrase after another in an effort to be erudite.

Don’t string them together in an effort to add color to your writing.


She jogged down the street by the brook in the darkness with no flashlight.


Argh. I’ve lost track of the action in the sentence.


Unless, as Gordon Silverstein at the University of Minnesota says, you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.


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Jacqui Murray  is the author of  Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an  Amazon Vine Voice  book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing TeachersCisco guest blog,Technology in Education featured blogger, IMS tech expert, and a bi-weekly contributor to Write Anything. In her free time, she is   editor of a K-6 technology curriculumK-8 keyboard curriculum, creator of two technology training books for middle school and six ebooks on technology in education.  Currently, she’s editing a thriller that should be out to publishers next summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab,  Ask a Tech Teacher.


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Filed under: writers resources, writers tips Tagged: Adpositional phrase, Preposition and postposition, writers resources, writers tips
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Published on December 02, 2012 23:22
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