Helsinki Escalates Penguin Wars

(Sick of penguin wars? Well, I’m not.)

Trusted spy correspondent Juha Tupasela provides valuable intel on an escalation I was unaware of:

“Your influence continues to be seen here in the far north, now in the form of heavily armed penguins (you will of course recall the plague of mushroom infiltrators I told you about earlier this year). It looks like the penguin wars that you’ve been publicizing over the past months have spilt over into Helsinki in the form of posters advertising a heavy metal