manspeak & dolphin squeaks

So, remember this post?  Well, yesterday early morning (like 5AM early) Zoo says, “you know how we’re always like, I hope the boiler lasts?  It’s leaking.”

Me:  The boiler’s broken?

Zoo:  Right, the hot water heater.

Me:  *stares and wonders how that’s the same thing*  So it’s not the boiler?

Zoo:  No.  But it’s flooding in the basement a little.  Keep an eye on it.

Me:  *spending all day mopping up constant flood of water in said basement*

Cut to…

Plumber (later on that evening after replacing the water heater):  I know you said the boiler’s also doing something weird, but I didn’t hear any rattling.

Me:  It was doing it this afternoon.  And then, when I put the heat to 68 in another zone, this zone goes to 74.  And it’s the same zone that’s rattling.

Plumber:  Well, it’s this radiator that’s close to the thermostat that’s making that heat go up.

Me:  *trying to be logical* It’s been there for 6 years and that’s never happened.

Plumber:  *shrugs*

*Chinese food comes.  We have hot water.  No one cares*

Cut to…6AM this morning

Zoo:  Guess what’s leaking.

Me:  Hot water heater?

Zoo:  The boiler.

Me:  The boiler boiler?

Zoo: Yup. And there was this awful rattling sound…

Plumber:  I should’ve just slept here.  You need a new valve – it’s a 40 year old piece.  Oh, and there’s also this rattling in the boiler.  It’s because the zone pipe is corrupted.  That happens.  It happens because the water gets too hot…

Me:  And makes the heat go up ridiculously high.

Plumber:  Right.

Me:  It’s like, half the time when I speak, it’s dolphin sqeaks.

Plumber: *ignores me* These things happen in threes.

Me:  Thanks, Angel of Death, part 2 (because part 1 is my mother) – and this is the third thing.  Remember the giant leak in the tub upstairs two weeks ago that means we have to rip out the entire bathroom?

Plumber:  Oh, right.  Zoo yelled at me when I gave him the price for redoing the bathroom. *turns as he’s halfway out the door*  I’ve never seen a boiler pipe explode but check on it every couple of hours and call me if it happens.  Otherwise, I’ll be back later.

Me:

Because there are no words

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