That weird moment when you realize you’re older than Jesus.

My birthday is next month. (I’m a size medium t-shirt in case you’re shopping for gifts.)

I’ll be 37, which is old. I can feel the weather changing in my hip. Gonna be a storm coming. My bones are so brittle!

37 isn’t really that awesome of an age, despite the reality that the number 37 is my go-to number when I want to indicate a randomness.

For instance, if I wanted to tell you that there were a lot of otters in the river, I’d say, “There were like 37 different otters frolicking. It was magical.” Then I’d ask you not to say, “You otter go through more often” because that’s not a good joke. (I even used 37 in the title of a book I wrote.)

Other than that though, 37 isn’t that eventful, unlike 34 which is when you realize you are older than Jesus.

Technically he’s lived forever. But in earth years, in the amount of time he spent on the planet, you’re older at 34.

I remember getting to that age and thinking, “OK, I’m older than Jesus. What have I accomplished in my 34 years? Hmmm, well there was that one thing, no that wasn’t big. How about that other thing? Nope.” And then I felt a little weird and decided to eat some red velvet cake because I grew up in Massachusetts and didn’t know that existed until I moved to the south at age 18 for college.

If you’re not 34 yet, please disregard this post until you turn that age, and then you can write me an email at jon at jonacuff.com and tell me how smart I am.

If you are 34 or older, did you think it was weird when you realized you’re older than Jesus?