My 30/30 List

So I’m thirty. The big 3-0. I’ve been fearing it for a year and depressed about it all week, but now that it’s here I’m not sure what to think. I suppose it doesn’t feel any different, that is if I can keep myself from dwelling on it. But let’s be honest, I’m a dweller. I like taking time for introspections, and damnit, milestones mean something to me. The question is, what does this one mean?

Well, first of all it means the end of an era, namely my twenties. And I know, I know, twenty is just a number, except mine were more than that. I feel like I became me in my twenties. I graduated college (twice) in my twenties. I married Susie (twice) in my twenties. I published my first book (and four more) in my twenties. I learned to ski, and moved half way across the country, and bought my first home, and taught my first class, and made friends whom I now consider family in my twenties. I gave birth to my son in my twenties. People keep telling me it gets better, and I hope they’re right, but I can’t imagine ever being more blessed than I’ve been over the last ten years. I don’t mean to brag, but you’d be hard pressed to find someone who got more out of the last decade than I have.

I look back on the awesomeness that’s been my life and I find myself wondering what adventures I could possibly have left I think that’s the idea that’s been depressing me most (that and the gray hair). Don’t get me wrong: I’d be thrilled with more of the same, but shouldn’t I be chasing something else?

I started trying to deal with this by making another bucket list of things I wanted to do this year, the 10 for my 20’s list, but nothing seemed big enough. Compared to zip lining and skydiving it all felt tame…or stupid. Was I just trying to one-up myself? Or was I settling for more of the same, just in a different set up? Where was the purpose? Where was the meaning?

Hmm, meaning. Purpose. Adventure with a reason. Maybe there’s something to be said for new horizons. Instead of focusing on what I can get out of my thirties, I can focus on what I can give. I mean, most of the awesome things from my twenties weren’t things I earned or won; they were blessings. What if instead of asking for more, I said “thank you” more. What if I went a step further and instead of making a list of things I wanted to do for myself, I made a list of goals I wanted to do to show my gratitude?

With that though my 30/30 list was born. Here are 30 things I want to do this year, whether they’re things that help me say “thank you,” or help me give back, or help me be more aware of my place in this amazing world we all share.

1) Make a meal for someone sick

2) Donate to a new charity

3) Pick up trash along the roadside

4) Invite someone new over for dinner

5) Take a big batch of food to the food pantry

6) Clean out my closets and donate things I don’t need

7) Be a mentor at GCLS

8) Help with an event at church

9) Volunteer at the animal shelter

10) Bake something for Jackson’s teachers

11) Put change in someone else’s parking meter

12) Serve at a soup kitchen