LEAVE MITCHELL JOHNSON ALONE!!!!!

Yes, Mitchell Johnson is back, and that makes you fear like nothing since the last time you looked directly at an image of Peter Borren.

Some fear he will play, and fail, and lose Australia a series.

Others fear he will play, and fail, and their team won’t ever get to play against him again.

I fear he won’t fail and he’ll never ever go away.

Mitchell and I have this sort of long lasting cycle of violence between each other that he doesn’t know about and I can’t escape. But, if he’s not around, then I can continue with my life in a sort of semi normal kind of way. Because Mitchell is the ultimate bad ex-girlfriend. And this latest comeback is the ultimate accidental late night sext to a new boyfriend ever.

But some people love him, and while I haven’t been able to find many, here is by far the best one.

Yeah, leave him alone, perhaps in a cave, with an immovable boulder in front of it.

If you want to correspond with the sexy bastard in the video, he can be found here.