Ten writing rules not published in the Guardian

A couple of days ago, I linked to the Ten Rules for Writers in the Books section of the Guardian. They're fun to read, completely contradictory, and simultaneously wonderful and irrelevant. (Wanna make a sour face over them? Head over to the Globe and Mail.)

But why should those writers have all the fun (just because they're all incredibly successful)? I can write a contradictory list of rules for writers, and so can you. So, I'm going to whip up ten useful and useless "rules" that work f...