November 21 Interview with Russel Elkins

Open Adoption, Open Heart

The world of adoption has changed dramatically over the past twenty years. No longer do biological parents have to say goodbye to their child forever. They now have more options when deciding the type of adoption to pursue, such as open adoption. Open adoption creates the opportunity for a special relationship between biological parents, the adoptive parents, and the child.

 Open Adoption, Open Heart is an inspiring and true story, which takes the reader deeper into the feelings and emotions experienced by adoptive parents. As you read this incredible story, you will experience the joys, difficulties, and amazing victories facing adoptive couples. Russell and his wife, Jammie, invite you to share in their inspiring and heartwarming journey.



Interview with Author Russel Elkins

#1: What made you decide to write this book?
I knew while we were going through the adoption process that our story had to be told. I love to write, so that's the kind of thing my mind thinks of. The main reason I knew it had to be told was because we, just like the vast majority of people, didn't know adoption is different now than it used to be. We didn't know it was different and we didn't know what it was like. This book isn't to tell people what to do. Have you ever been so engulfed in a book that when you finally put it down you had to remind yourself you weren't actually there in the wild west or out in space or wherever? Well, living through a story is the best way to understand what it's like, and that's what this book does. Experiencing our trials and emotions and everything first hand is the best way to help people know what adoption is like now. The days of there being no connection between biological parents and adoptive families is in the past, for the most part.

#2: What would you say made your adoption, specifically, different from those in the past?
The birth mother of our son, Brianna, lived clear across the country from us and every state has its own adoption laws. Being just 15 years old, she really wanted to choose adoption, but the laws and other circumstances in her state were really complicating things. So, after brainstorming some ideas, she came out to where we live here in Idaho. Not only did she come here to have the baby, but to avoid traveling within the last 2 months of her pregnancy, she came 2 months before the birth and guess who she stayed with... yup. We had another place lined up for her to stay, but we hit it off so well that she just stayed with us through Christmans and New Years and up till the birth. Talk about really getting to know each other!

#3: Did your adopted child have contact with their birth parents? And how did that affect your family?
we still talk all the time. My wife talks to Brianna a lot more than I do, and our 2 year old son isn't really much of a telephone talker yet, but we talk and internet chat, Facebook, blog, all that stuff. We have a blog set up just for her to share with her photos and news and everything like that.

#4: What would you say was the most important lesson you learned from both your adoption, and writing Open Adoption, Open Heart?
Open adoption is not just something that you do. It's not just something that happens and you move on with your life. It's something that changes the path your life is heading on. The day our child was placed into our home was not the end of our adoption story- just like it's not the end of the book. It's actually the middle. The relationship we have built with the birth mother is absolutely 100% priceless for all of us involved, yet, it did take work to get there and it's amazing.

#5: How do you feel about reaching people with your work who haven't adopted and don't plan to?
When I set out writing this book, my main focus was on people planning to adopt. That changed drastically, though, with the process. I would say more people who have not and who do not plan to adopt have actually read it than people who have adopted. Not just that, but I've loved the feedback I've gotten from biological parents of adopted children. Like I said, this book isn't meant to tell people how to do it, or even that they should do it. My goal with the book is to help the world know how amazing adoption is and what it's like now. In fact, in a way, reaching those who are not connected to adoption is more important to me than anything because all too often unexpected pregnancies battle the question of raising the baby or aborting the baby. Everyone knows what adoption is, but it's still not something people ponder very often. There is this third option, when the time and situation is right, and it's the most amazing thing someone can go through.

#6: What advice would you give to people who can't decide whether or not to adopt?
Read people's stories, for starters. Adoption is not for everyone. And for those who do adopt, open adoption is not for everyone. There are all kinds of open adoption- meaning that there are many different levels of open in adoption. Our adoption, being as open as it is, is in the small percentage that are so wide open, but that's what's right for our home. You need to decide for yourself what is right for your home- what you can handle- what's good for yourself and your kids, etc. The best way to come to know those things is to live through it through someone else's story. That's why I wrote our story the way I did.

#7: Who do you think will benefit the most from reading your book?
I originally thought that answer would be- the person considering adoption. Now, after it's been out for a few months, though, the answer seems to be- those who think we open adoption people are crazy. Ha ha. I mean, lots of people have given me feedback saying if they were to adopt, that they wouldn't have it so open, but reading our story in its detail they say, "but now I know why you did." Any reader will be able to take a ride through our story and think what they would do if they were in our shoes.

#8: When would say was the most difficult time for you and your family, and how did you overcome it?
I'd say it was the day after we came home from the hospital. It's told in greater detail in the book, but basically Brianna (who started staying with a friend after the birth until it was time to go back to her home state) came over to visit and she was really second guessing her decision. It wasn't too late for her to change her mind and as she held our son she kept whispering to him "I don't know if I can let you go", saying that over and over. We were obviously very worried and very attached, but there was nothing we could have done legally even if we wanted to. She still had the rights, and that was the way it should be. We were immediately attached to our son, but that right still belonged to Brianna if she wanted to change her mind (and rightfully so at that point). It was very nerve racking, but worried ourselves to sleep for days and days. She will be the first to tell you, and she's told us more times than I can count, that she's glad she went through with it and it was the best decision she's ever made. We're glad too, of course. We sure love adoption and everything it has done for our humble little home.


Purchase Amazon * Author's Website
 Amazon Kindle * Barnes & Noble


From the Author: While my book's primary audience was thought to be those hoping to adopt, close to half of the books I've sold are simply people who want to read about our story and how adoption is different now than it used to be- and they have not adopted nor do they plan to adopt.



About the Author:

Russell Elkins was born on Andrews Air Force Base near Washington, D.C., in the fall of 1977. Along with his five siblings, he and his military family moved around a lot, living in eight different houses by the time he left for college at age 17. Although his family movedaway from Fallon, Nevada, just a few months after he moved out, he still considers that little oasis in the desert to be his childhood hometown. He and his family now live in the Boise, Idaho area.

Russell has always been a family man at heart, looking forward to the day when he could be a husband and a father. It took him a little while, but eventually his eyes locked onto a beautiful blonde, and he has never looked away. Russell and Jammie were married in 2004. Years of struggling with infertility left Russell and Jammie with a decision to make and their lives changed dramatically when they decided to adopt.

Russell and Jammie have adopted two beautiful children, Ira and Hazel, and have embraced their role as parents through open adoption. Both are actively engaged in the adoption community by communicating through social media, taking part in discussion panels, and writing songs about adoption. Russell also writes a weekly post for Adoption.com and contributes regularly to Adoption Voices Magazine.


Links Website * Facebook


Tour Giveaway:
$25 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash from Author Russell Elkins
Ends 12/23/12
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Blog Tour Schedule: http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2012/10/open-heart-open-adoption-blog-tour.html