THE PENTON TIMES: A Vampire Talks about General Petraeus

by Mirren Kincaid, as told to Susannah Sandlin

I just don't (bleep)ing get it. I know I'm not technically a U.S. citizen, but I've lived here longer than any of you humans so I get to have an opinion.

I have lots of opinions.

So, the head of the CIA had an affair. Did he endanger national security? Looks like the answer is no.

So who the (bleep) cares? What the (bleep)ing business is it of mine who this dude does or doesn't (bleep) in his spare time?

Don't you people have more serious issues? The...