Are you a Prepper?
Since I don’t watch television, I don’t know much about the popular series that people watch on a regular basis. From casual conversations over the years, I’ve heard about Grey’s Anatomy and CSI: Wherever It Is Now, but I’ve never seen any of the shows that everyone else seems to be talking about.
The other day, though, when I logged onto the internet, a pop-up commercial caught my eye about Doomsday Preppers, a TV show that interviews people who are diligently preparing for their survival of a doomsday event. According to Wikipedia’s entry about the show, that event could be anything in the range of “ economic collapse, societal collapse, electromagnetic pulse, terrorist acts, fuel shortages, war, pandemics, etc.”
Note that it doesn’t mention a comet smashing into the earth. What happened to that scenario? I thought that was the big concern about human survival.
Oh, wait. That was a movie. Fiction. Make-believe.
My mistake.
Doomsday Preppers, on the other hand, is about real people, taking very real precautions. They used to be called ‘survivalists,’ but apparently the politically correct term is now ‘preppers.’ Clearly, I am again behind the times, since I thought ‘preppers’ referred to the employees in commercial kitchens who washed and cut up the vegetables for the salads.
Anyway, the piece of the internet ad that captured my attention was the fact that one particular ‘prepper’ had several thousands of canned food items stored in his home.
I don’t even know where in my home I could store one thousand cans, let alone tens of thousands. I can barely find a space to hide Christmas presents. Although, if there were an apocalypse, people on my gift list might really appreciate the canned food items, so maybe I’m just looking at this from the wrong angle.
If I were stockpiling canned food, it could not only be my insurance of a food supply in case of the end of the world as I know it, but it could also be my go-to supply for all gift-giving occasions. Need a last-minute hostess gift? Take the canned chili beans! Need to pop something into a care package for the college kid? Send her a can of tomato sauce! Retirement party? Canned fruit is always a good choice.
Imagine the time, and gas!, I could save if I didn’t have to run out shopping for gifts. Heck, if I had that much food in the house, I wouldn’t have to go grocery shopping, either. In fact, I could just hunker down at home and not go out at all. I could become completely anti-social. I wouldn’t have to wear make-up any more. I wouldn’t have to worry if my jeans fit. I could let go of all my civilized inhibitions and behaviors.
I could be a barbarian.
No! No! No! That’s not the point of surviving doomsday. The point of surviving doomsday is to carry on civilization, right? To wear clothes and make-up, to be polite and kind to people. To drink coffee and tea together, and support charitable causes.
Oh. My. Gosh. I just had a life-changing revelation.
The apex of human civilization is found at Caribou Coffee shops. People wear clothes there, women wear make-up, and everyone is polite and kind. Plus you drink coffee and tea, and on certain days, a portion of your coffee purchase goes to charity.
Double oh my gosh. I just remembered the company campaign slogan: Life is short. Stay awake for it.
What does Caribou know that I don’t? Are they…‘preppers’?
I wonder how many cans they have stashed in their basements….
