Me (unplugged)

I have this dream of unplugging.

Maybe it’s more of a fantasy.

It goes something like this:

I drop my cell phone into the deep blue sea.
I throw my computer off my roof. Think Letterman, not Mötley Crüe.
I (somehow) erase from my mind any passwords that give me access to the cloud.

In short, I go off the grid. Well, off the grid in a modern-dude-just-doesn’t-do-computers-or-have-a-cell-sort-of-way. In other words, I’m not cut out for roughing it like one of those survivalists. I’m sort of a luddite living among digital natives and early adopters.

But as it turns out, I’m not even cut out for part one of my fantasy.

My Droid died the other day. Actually, it died two days short of my contract with Sprint.

Here’s how that conversation went:

Sprint guy: You can either pay $50 to cancel the contract and get a new phone today, or you can wait two days.

Me: You can’t waive the fee? It’s only two days. Actually, I think it’s 36 hours.

Sprint guy: I can’t. Sprint used to do that like a month out, but they stopped.

Me: That’s really stupid.

Sprint guy: I agree. It’s totally stupid.

Me: Thanks for being honest and not defending a ridiculous policy.

Sprint guy: No problem. What do you want to do?

So I went with option B. I figured I could live without a phone for two days.

Turns out, I did manage. But it wasn’t pretty.

I was grumpy for no reason.

I honestly felt cut off from the world, which in a sense, I was.

I had trouble sleeping, mostly because I listen to audible before nodding off.

I couldn’t work out, mostly because I use my phone to play podcasts at the gym.

Waking up was another story. I start my day with the NY Times mobile and Twitter.

In short, it was a hellish 36 hours. Although, it’s worth noting that I didn’t miss talking on the phone. I use it for work, but I was able to reschedule interviews. And beyond that, there are less than six people I talk to on a regular basis. But the rest of the phone… I couldn’t live without it.

I may dream of a simple, technology-free life. But honestly, that dream is a nightmare.