SSS: Seduced by Santa

This is one of those stories that arrived and just refused to leave. I'm frantically writing it now to get it out in time for christmas!

Born and bred in the North Pole into the famous Claus clan, he wasn’t just one of Santa’s little helpers. Oh no, he was a main bloodline Claus, which meant when Dec 24th hit, he gained a couple of hundred pounds, five decades and a beard like a frost-covered bush to deliver presents to undeserving snot-nosed, spoilt little brats.

And don’t even get him started on the fucking reindeer. Temperamental pains in the ass, they thought it was funny to pull an emergency stop and pitch him off the freaking roof. Last time they’d done it, just before he’d turned his back on the red suit for good, he’d threatened to turn them into rugs. It had taken months for the hoof shaped bruise on his ass to fade.