Q: Having good social skills is another component of EQ, but does that mean people who are shy or introverted don’t have as high an EQ? Again, how can one improve social skills?
Social competence takes many forms – it’s more than just being chatty. These abilities range from being able to tune into another person’s feelings and understand how they think about things, to being a great collaborator and team player, to expertise at negotiation. All these skills are learned in life. We can improve on any of them we care about, but it takes time, effort, and perseverance. It helps to have a model, someone who embodies the skill we want to improve. But we also need to practice whenever a naturally occurring opportunity arises – and it may be listening to a teenager, not just a moment at work.
Published on November 11, 2012 00:00
I must admit that I wasn't super interested at first, but the more I read, the more I was hooked and learned an incredible amount and was dealing with social situations at the same time. I have struggled with social settings, thinking I don't have anything to offer and feeling like I was boring, not having anything fun or interesting to say. I also believe constantly that people are talking about me after I leave, etc. These are all lies of course, but even if people do talk bad about me after I leave, your book has taught me much about overcoming and reshaping my thoughts, among so much else!! I know that I need to renew my mind daily (Romans 12:2). I need to counteract these lies with truth and have gotten better, but like you say in your book, learning about emotions, etc is a lifetime job! :) When I allow it, this can be exciting!
I had one question for you, Dr. Goleman...My professor wanted me to find out what your beliefs are. We are both interested in learning about different beliefs, etc., and so she wanted me to find this out. I tried googling or looking on Wikipedia, but figured it was just easier just to ask you directly, and more personal and accurate too :) So, if you don't mind answering, for my paper, but also for my personal interest, are you Jewish? This is what both my professor and I were thinking you might be, or do you follow different beliefs from those of Jewish beliefs?
I'd appreciate anything else you can add to build in my paper. And thanks so much for what you wrote and shared within your book and excited to read more books by you, sir. Blessings on your future endeavors and looking forward to hearing from you (my paper is due in a couple weeks if you have time to answer before then).
Thanks again for any response you have time for, even if it's just one or two sentences; anything will be helpful and thanks for reading my comments! :)