I chose not to become a professional cuddler

My list of careers is long.

Elementary school teacher
Author
Wedding DJ
Minister
Professional speaker
Life coach

My list of careers that I am seeking to make happen include:

Professional best man (I have had three serious inquiries thus far)Professional double date companion
Grave site visitor

I recently posted a list of future careers that I am interested in pursuing, and in addition to those, I’m also interested in launching an efficiency consulting firm. I’m confident that I can improve the efficiency and productivity of almost anyone if you give me a week.

My interests are wide and varied. I collect jobs like some people collect antiques.

As a result, for an extremely brief but shameful moment, I also considered the career of a professional cuddler, an option that I became aware of after reading about it in TIME.

Graduate student Jacqueline Samuel has turned the act of cuddling into a business. In June, the 29-year-old launched the Snuggery, a company that allows clients to cuddle with her for $60 an hour.

Thankfully, the idea of professional cuddling did not last long, for a number of reasons.

First, I suspect that my wife might be opposed to this particular career choice.

Second, $60 an hour did not sound like enough money to make the effort  worth my time.

But most important, the job sounds incredibly boring. Simply holding a person for a solid hour? If I was allowed to read a book or listen to a podcast while cuddling, it might be worthy of my time and hold my interest, but holding some sorry sack for an hour without any other distraction?

No thank you.