IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE ...

... who really believes Martin Amis doesn't totally get off on this nonsense?

Rarely one to turn the other cheek, the novelist Martin Amis – who was the subject of an open letter from Anna Ford in ­Saturday's Guardian accusing him of narcissism, neglect of his godfatherly duties and smoking over her late husband's deathbed – has counter attacked, calling the former newsreader's outburst "ungenerous and self-defeating".

One can only hope his publicity stff is cutting checks left, right and...