Why we’re not trusted

Victoria Bekiempis has written a short piece for the New York Daily News, expressing frustration that I think many young atheists, myself included, find familiar.

Though her article cites and is titled after the mistaken idea that atheists are trusted less than rapists (we’re not, can this myth just die already?), and also suggests that 20% of the population is an atheist or agnostic (not quite, but we can find a lot of common ground with the nones), I think she’s articulating an idea I’m happy to see gain more attention. More and more atheists, particularly young ones, seem to be dissatisfied with how our atheism and relationship with religion is viewed.

Bekiempis writes:

Some atheists are prone to look at all this and grumble: We’re chronically misunderstood by all those blinded believers — and that’s why we’re shut out of the political conversation.

Truth is, we share some of the blame for the way we’re perceived. If, as our numbers rise, we’re going to be taken seriously, we need to not be so grating in voicing our (non) beliefs.

Of course, many responses so far are characteristically melodramatic, and seem to take Bekiempis’s position to be “shut up about your atheism and just let the religious set up a theocracy, already,” as if there exists some false dichotomy between “say nothing” and “be as unpleasant as possible,” with no room in between. I think many people see a lot of room to stand up for secularism, be kind and thoughtful in how you represent your beliefs, and not come across like you subscribe to r/atheism.

I’ve noticed that often times, not only when I bring up my atheism, but when friends bring up their atheism, too, our comments are couched with something like “I don’t know how you feel about religion but. . .” or “I don’t personally believe in God, and I don’t really care what anyone else believes, but. . .” or “So I’m an atheist, but not really a dick about it, and. . .,” and so on.

I’d say that most of my friends are atheists, or at least one of the “nones”, and they seem to be similarly frustrated with how unlikeable atheists are perceived to be. We shouldn’t be ashamed or nervous about bringing up our beliefs. But at least in my personal experience, what I’ve seen from my friends, and what I’ve heard from a lot of young atheists I’ve spoken with online, much of that shame comes from a fear of being associated with the extremely prominent voices and efforts that Bekiempis points to. Dave Silverman calling Islam barbaric and the 9/11 Cross come to mind. I’ve noticed this doesn’t seem to be a common view in online and local atheist communities (which might tell us about a population that doesn’t feel particularly welcome in these circles), so I’d be interested to hear from any readers about whether they or their friends have similar feelings. If only to get a broader sense than what I have from my (admittedly) narrow anecdotal experience.

So while it might not be fair to blame fundamentalists claiming we’re evil on the behavior of visible atheists, I think it’s fair to say that atheists do oftentimes come across as unlikeable, and our conduct as a community is at least partly responsible. I’m happy to see someone like Bekiempis come from outside our insular world and challenge us by saying something like:

I don’t think we can change our image and bolster our political representation unless we articulate why atheism is good — instead of constantly pointing out the other side’s faults.

Atheists will not ever perish in America, but unless we change our approach, we will remain largely disenfranchised.

I think it’s important to note that I’m not advocating that we not talk about our atheism, or avoid engaging frankly and honestly with believers when it’s appropriate (I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen a comment on Pharyngula suggest that atheists are analogous to Civil Rights era blacks, and that being asked to be less cruel is tantamount to Rosa Parks being told to just be happy sitting on the back of the bus). I think it’s a good idea, though, to be visible examples of how we can be advocates for secularism and atheist causes, all the while being just normal and likable human beings. I think that would go a long way towards improving our image and encouraging more atheists to be involved.

h/t to Paul Fidalgo for bringing this article to my attention via his great Morning Heresy post on the CFI Blog.

Vlad Chituc is a lab manager and research assistant in a social neuroscience lab at Duke University. As an undergraduate at Yale, he was the president of the campus branch of the Secular Student Alliance, where he tried to be smarter about religion and drink PBR, only occasionally at the same time. He cares about morality and thinks philosophy is important. He is also someone that you can follow on twitter.