Joyful Driver on Life’s Highway (Or what I learned at traffic school)

Many moons ago I got a speeding ticket. To keep the ticket off my record, I went to the assigned driver safety class. It was the longest 4 hours of my life. I vowed to never speed again.

Well, I recently got a ticket for driving 44 in a 30 mph zone. This particular road changes speed zones every few blocks and I thought I was in a 40 range. I thought wrong. Dang.

This time I signed up for the online version of the safety course. It was the longest 4 hours of my life. I will never speed again.

What frustrated me is that the computer reads each page to me and I cannot advance to the next screen until the very slow voice has finished. My impatient self screamed that I could be done with these lessons in one hour instead of four if I could go at my pace.

Alas, the penalty for speeding is not only a fine, it is also a lesson in self-management. So I settled in for the ride. I learned some stats on driver safety and I learned to relax. I can’t force the computer to read faster. It is me who can adjust.

I started to scribble down some of the analogies driving has with life. How much better driving and life could be if we all simply paid attention and showed courtesy. How a good driver creates a stress free driving space in and around your vehicle. Yes, I teach that a joyful person creates a calm space in and around themselves as well.

Reports show that drivers who get in accidents or get a ticket usually are full of excuses, excuses, excuses. A good driver does not blame. A joyful person does not blame and learns to take life with a no excuses approach. It really is very freeing.

The safety course uses the term “defensive driver” and I understand that. The language police in me chooses to say that the best defense is a good offense. I do not go through life on the defensive, with my guard up. So for my joyful purposes, I will change defensive driver to joyful driver.

The joyful driver is driving to save lives, time, and money in spite of conditions around you and actions of others. Amen. Living a joyful life means we do so even if we have challenging situations or people in our lives. We do not let them take the wheel.

A joyful driver and a joyful person understands that in driving and in life, there is no “front of the line.” We are not competing to get anywhere first. If some guys cuts you off, so be it. That’s his issue. Most likely he was simply not paying attention. Remember, if we all simply paid attention, the world would be a different place.

The safety course used the example of a doctor performing surgery. We would not tolerate a doctor reading the newspaper or texting while in the operating room. Whatever we are doing, be it surgery, driving, or having a conversation with a loved one, we can be present to that moment. The phone can wait. Present moment awareness is important in driving and adds so much joy to life.

The course was full of nuggets. “It’s a personal choice every time you get behind the wheel.” Indeed. It’s a personal choice every day when you wake up how you are going to enter the day, how you are going to operate, how you are going to create the day ahead of you.

“Don’t worry about the behavior of other drivers.” Oh my goodness. When you can stop fretting about what others do, your life will open in ways you never realized. You cannot control the actions of others, no matter how much you worry about them, how much you love them, or how much you despise them.

“Be patient. Ignore the honking driver behind you.” This is your journey. You are playing your way, with hope, love, joy and dreams. You are riding down the highway of life, experiencing and discovering. Some people won’t understand that. They still think there is a finish line ahead and they will get a prize for getting there first.

The prize is right here, today, right now.

When you do have a moment of feeling flustered, the driver commission says to regain control, you can reflect, reframe, refocus. Take a moment to catch your breath. Reflect on your desires for your life. If you took a wrong turn, no big deal. Get going again and correct your path. The detours usually provide great learning opportunities. You get back on track, wiser and more certain that this is the way you want to go.

“You have the power! The only person who can control your behavior behind the wheel is you. Other drivers may make you mad, but only you have the power to make your own decisions.”

I give that a hell yes! Other people may ruffle your feathers, but YOU HAVE THE POWER OVER YOU! The only person who can control you is you. A joyful driver and a joyful person understand that every choice is theirs to make. No excuses. No blame. No worries.

This is my life and I get to choose how and where I drive. I get to choose my attitude and my destination and my route. I get to choose my traveling companions. And I get to choose to enjoy the ride!

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