I'm So Tired of the Weirdos

Standing in line at Starbucks this morning, I started staring at the ceiling, wondering what would happen if the earth lost its gravitational pull.

Starbucks has all these floating wooden platforms that hang about a foot below the ceiling, attached by narrow metal rods.   All I could think was that if we all floated up to them, some of the customers would get wedged between the platforms and the ceilings.  Which would probably be the safest place to be, because everyone's hot lattes would be p...