Another Update 22 Oct 2012

I wasn’t as close to being finished with my novel as I thought. Essentially, I have some missing scenes, and actually some missing characters. My David Kennedy, yes that’s his last name, Kennedy, has been asking questions about some scenes. They were obvious omissions, but somehow they’d escaped me. David is really good about not writing my novel for me. He just asks questions that any good reader would ask, and the deficiencies become obvious. Now I’m really excited about a couple of new scenes  I get to write, scenes that will bring my characters together and provide insight into their natures, who they are together. This is so exciting.

On the home front. My father says he’s okay at Codlea, but I know that he must be hating himself for being back inside having once been out. Anyway, they have him on a work detail and he’s okay with that. The other thing is that now he actually has been assigned a lawyer that can sort through how he got released but was then re-incarcerated. He’s also been to see the brother of the man my father killed along with the sister, and it looks like they may be able to work out another release in the not too distant future. Still a few years, but not the decades he was in for before. They are also working with the prosecutor, the man who actually got my father convicted in the first place, and he seems to have changed his tune a little also.

Drina’s health is still failing. I worry about her. Yesterday, she didn’t need for me to work because she didn’t open her business. I asked her if I could do anything for her. If she needed anything. She had me go to the farmacie buy her some pain medication. She said she just wanted to sleep. I went to the voievod, the leader of her clan, and he said he would contact their doctor. They have one that comes around once every two weeks or so, but will come when needed.

David and I have started fighting. Yes, I knew it was going to happen, and I was dreading it, but now here it is. He does too much for me, and I find it condescending. I wanted to do the cooking last night, but he wanted to too. I told him no, that it was my turn. He said he had something special he wanted to fix for me, and I told him I didn’t want to eat it. We argued for a half hour. Finally, he looked at me and smiled.

“What’s that about?” I asked.

“We’re fighting,” he said.

“I know,” I said. “And now you’re laughing at me, and it’s horrible.”

“No! I’m laughing at us. We’re fighting, and I still love you,” he said.

“You’re being an asshole and a shithead.” I start the bad language thing when I get mad. I can’t help it.

“That’s not fair,” he said. “Name calling is off limits.”

“Then you’d have the advantage, cause that’s the way I express myself.”

“Okay, you can cook,” he said.

“But I don’t want to anymore. I might poison you.”

“I’ll watch you.” And the he took a step toward me. He was still smiling.

I felt so stupid, but I grabbed him and hugged him anyway.

One of my teachers the last year I went to school talked to us about different kinds of love. Parental love. Sexual love. Infatuation. But the one  that impressed me the most was something she called unconditional love. She said that parents generally have it for their children. I think my father felt that way about me, but I’m not so sure about my mother anymore. My teacher also said that it can occur in relationships but that it generally takes years to fully develop. I’ve been wondering if that’s what’s happening to David and me. Or is it infatuation?

That night after we fought when we were in bed together, I asked David about it. If he thought that we could ever care for each other that way. He didn’t answer. He just held me  close and buried his face in my hair. I’ve never had anyone hold me in their arms that long.

I’ve heard from other girls that talk like that too soon can end a relationship. I catch David watching me. And I watch him a lot when he’s not aware. I try to see him like he’s a wild animal just being his natural self. I wish I could have watched him before we came to know each other. Who is he? Why does a man from another country love me? Why am I so wrapped up in him?