Authors Against Bullying 2012 - We Can Make a Change!

Stop Bullying"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everthing, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do." ~ Helen Keller

No question, bullying is a serious problem in our society and like all societal issues, it requires our response to make it better.  My mom marched to a different drummer from the time she took her first step.  Add to that the fact that she was genetically obese from early childhood (she weighed 200 lbs at age 10 while her siblings were all in the normal ranges) and she was the perfect target for bullies.  Only she wasn't.

She was a crusader and she taught her children to be crusaders too.  So, I went to school in hand-me-down clothes that didn't fit, my socks often didn't match and I was on the free-lunch program, but I was a crusader.  I boycotted class in 4th grade because my best friend was being teased.

My baby sister?  She was a crusader too, but feisty as Miss Scarlett, she was still a target.

Stand Up to BullyingShe refused to conform, refused to give in to peers and their pressure to be like them when she found them objectionable.  And she spent four years in high school being tormented, verbally ridiculed and physically targeted.  The post traumatic stress was deep and ingrained and as the mother of an adult child and two teens, she still physically shakes when she thinks one of them might have become the same kind of target, or the issue of bullying comes up. My sister is strong.  Really, really strong.  As a family, we've survived some of the hardest stuff life has to offer and she's faced it head-on personally, but bullying leaves scars.

Each one of my three children have faced one form of bullying, or another.  Their dad and I did whatever we could, including changing schools (taking one out of private school and putting him in public and another out of public and putting her in private), coaching them on how to deal , talking to teachers, administrators and counselors and it made a difference, but it didn't make life perfect.

Neither did boycotting my class in the 4th Grade, but it did make a difference.  Those boys never called my friend "hamburger" again.  Can you imagine?  The innocence of a time when being likened to fast food was the ultimate insult.  Sigh...  Anyway, we make a difference when we act, even if that action makes us look over zealous and protective (as more than one teacher and other parent accused me of being) or just plain silly (I boycotted by going into the coat closet and refusing to come out.).

Adult Bullying in the WorkplaceMaybe you don't have children or teens in your life and you think, bullying isn't a problem for you, but then you'd be wrong.  This societal blight infects our adult interactions as well.  Bosses and colleagues bully employees to the point of causing serious physical and psychological health issues, coaches are allowed to call their adult players the vilest of names in the guise of "inspiring them to greatness", customers bully service industry workers because they can - getting loud and abusive and thinking that is acceptable behavior.

I once stood in line behind a woman berating the sales clerk at Macy's to the point that clerk was near tears. I stepped in with my "mom voice" (I got it from my mother - how I miss that woman!) and gently reminded the woman ahead of me about manners.  Now, it could have gone badly.  She could have turned and started yelling at me.  Frankly, I would have preferred that at that point, I felt that badly for the sales associate.  The other customer didn't.  She reigned it in. She apologized.

LOVE HEALSWill intervention always be met with a positive result?  Absolutely not, especially if it's handled with belligerence. (I have gotten dirty looks, nasty comments and been ignored on other occasions.)  Should that stop us from doing something?  No.  Sometimes, what we can do is smile and commiserate after, just letting the hurting person know somebody cares and it is *not* okay they were treated in such a way.

Sometimes, standing up to the bullies means being the first one to step out with something positive and kind to say.  Being the first one to say to the rest of the world, "This person has value.  I'll call this person friend, colleague, teammate, etc. with pride."  It means not being bullies ourselves, even temporarily.  It means changing how we respond to the world and incidents of bullying.  It means setting aside our own prejudices and belief that we can treat others differently because they aren't who we want or expect them to be.

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
What about you?  Have you experienced bullying?  What is your favorite thing to do to make the world a friendlier place?

I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

Hugs,
Lucy

Website | Facebook | Twitter


Resource links for anti-bullying:
Ambassadors 4 Kids
Pacer's National Bullying Prevention Center
Peace Builders
Stop Bullying

Some disturbing statistics:
Every 30 minutes a teenager attempts suicide due to bullying.About 47 teens are bullied every five minutes.Victims of cyber bullying show more signs of depression than other bullying victims.Cyber bullying is on the rise in dramatic numbers; it is relentless and more frightening if the bully is anonymous.There are about 282,000 students who are reportedly attacked in high schools in our nation each month. 71 percent of students report bullying as an ongoing problem.The leading cause of death among children under the age of 14 is suicide.“Bullycide” is the new term for suicide as a result of being bullied.Teens in grades 6 through 10 are most likely to be involved in activities related to bullying.Almost half of all students fear harassment or bullying in the bathroom.Source: National Institutes of Health, SAFE, Tony Bartoli
Stop by these other author blogs and read articles, personal testimonials and interviews as authors speak out against bullying:
Mandy M. RothYasmine GalenornLauren DaneMichelle M. PillowKate DouglasShawntelle MadisonLeah BraemelAaron CroccoNJ WaltersJax GarrenShelli StevensMelissa SchroederJaycee ClarkShawna ThomasElla DrakeE.J. StevensAshley ShawJeaniene FrostRachel CaineKate RothwellJackie Morse KesslerJaye WellsKate AngellMelissa CutlerPT MichellePatrice MichelleJulie LetoKaz MahoneyCynthia D'AlbaJesse L. CairnsTJ MichaelsJess HainesPhoebe ConnJessa SladeKate DaviesLynne SilverTaryn BlackthorneMargaret DaleyAlyssa DayAaron DriesLisa WhitefernRhyannon ByrdCarly PhillipsLeslie KellyJanelle DenisonGraylin FoxLee McKenzieBarbara WinkesHarmony EvansMary EasonAnn AguirreLucy MonroeNikki DuncanKerry SchaferRuth Frances LongJulie Chicklitasaurus