perks.

      When I was a tenth grade, angsty girl with a penchant for sad music and ‘feeling infinite’, it seemed Stephen Chbosky’s “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” came to me at exactly the right time. I read the book in a single night, and then again shortly after. I attribute a lot of the young adult—-yet brave novel (dealing with issues such as suicide, queerness, drug use, physical and sexual violence - all while maintaining moments of joy and whimsy) to my desire to be a writer. And also my desire to never be “cool.” I heard recently that Chbosky’s book sales were surprisingly dismal, but not because people were not reading the book, but because every person who read it immediately gave it to someone they knew. The book was largely circulated through the immediacy of “I know someone who MUST READ this.” Briana Lurie gave me her copy. I loaned mine to Andrew Sass who handed it back with his favorite quotes penciled on the inside jacket. I still have it. Today I am a professional writer. I am on a book tour, currently in Salt Lake City where I know virtually no one. I took myself to the movie version that the author even wrote the screen play for (!) When I was 17, I wanted to make that movie. He did a great job. This was my first time alone in a movie theater (very fitting for the title!) and I allowed myself to laugh and cry loudly and eat an entire bag of peanut butter m&ms. I allowed myself to be young again, and ‘happy and sad at the same time, even though I am not sure how that could be.’