In Defense of Teresa Guidice

I’ve never been a big fan of brunettes/weird accents so clearly I don’t watch RHONY or RHONJ. But I can’t help but pay attention to the plight of Teresa Guidice, namely that she’s batshit crazy and attacks everyone.

Let me come to her defense.

 

"Whadda you mean there's no-a more-a pasta?!"

 

As a former reality TV star myself, I know all too well how hard it is to get a show on the air. It takes years from producers “discovering” you actually having a premiere party. And Teresa was there for every step of it. But then along comes her sister in law Melissa who joins the cast riiiiiiight at the peak of it’s success, effortlessly sliding into a corner of the TV market that Teresa and co. had spend years laboriously carving out.

So that made Teresa nuclear? Yes. Yes it did. What probably vexes Teresa is the same thing that vexed me when certain friends basically ignored my show until 1) it was actually happening or 2) they had a chance to be on it.

Melissa didn’t ask Teresa’s permission. Teresa is the Godfather and Melissa had a duty to kiss her ring, pay homage to Teresa’s hard work and ASK to be let onto the show.

How I see myself, basically.

The real question is: why doesn’t Teresa just say that? I had no problem telling people “Hey, this is MY show. You want on? You acknowledge that and give me some respect.”

 

It’s not like I needed people to sacrifice a goat in my honor—conveying that sort of deference is easy and unconscious, like the tone of voice or saying, “How would you feel if I joined the cast?”

But she really needs to get off this whole “Melissa was a stripper” thing. I mean who cares, right? Hell I’d be a stripper if I had the inner thigh strength to grip that pole. Dare to dream, Shallon…dare to dream.

Not all dreams can come true. Accept it, Shallon.

So, yeah, that’s my take on the Tersea G. sitch. She’s taken it way too far, but I do understand her motives. That hairline though…that I do not understand. Yikes.

I said I understood her, not that she's a Nobel prize winner OK?