Isn't it ironic?

     Since I don't want my meaning to be lost or misconstrued, I'll start with a caveat: I don't dislike Alanis Morissette. She's not my favorite artist of the 90's, but I enjoyed Jagged Little Pill, and I admire the way she was able to turn her bitterness over failed relationships into hit songs like You Oughta Know. 
     But, her song Ironic? To me, the only "ironic" thing about that song is that it doesn't seem to understand what irony is. Let's look at some of the lyrics of the song:
          It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
          It's a death row pardon two minutes two late
          It's like rain on your wedding day
          A traffic jam when you're already late
          A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
     I'm willing to say that these are all unfortunate occurrences but I don't see the irony. "Irony" means using words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning. So, an insect in your wine is unpalatable, but not ironic. I suppose rain on your wedding day might be ironic if you were a meteorologist, but if not, it's just a bunch of damp tule.
     Instead, try this on for real irony:
     I misspelled my proofreader's name in the acknowledgement section of Feels Like the First Time. See, his job was to make sure I didn't misspell any of the 66,000 words in the book, and he did so admirably. He caught dozens of my mistakes, but I was left to my own devices for those few words, and instead of crediting "J.K. Kelley" as my proofreader extraordinaire, I listed him as "J.K. Kelly."
     So, J.K., mea culpa. Next book, I hope we've learned our lesson: I should never be left unsupervised near a keyboard.
     Meanwhile, here's the entry form to win two free signed copies of Feels Like the First Time, now with corrected Acknowledgements!
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