When Should I Fall In Love?

This week in England the big story on the news is about a 15 year old girl who ran off to France with her 30 year old math teacher. My husband and I have discussed how ironic it is that the other news of the moment is that ’50 Shades of Grey’ is also the highest selling book in Britain since records started (well this is what the local radio show we listened to in Scotland was claiming, I haven’t verified it).

So this comes to my topic for this post. When a 15 year old girl is seduced by her teacher she ends up in protective custody, with apparently a tough emotional period ahead of her, and the guy ends up in jail. Where as if you add just a few years on to the girl, suddenly the prospect of her being seduced by a teacher is a worldwide hit… How much does a girl really mature from age 15 to 18? Alot you say? Well yes a lot, but in relative terms how mature is that 18 year old to say a 21 or 24 year old. A.K.A. Even though she is considered an adult in legal terms is she REALLY old enough to understand the full consequences of her actions?

During your teens and twenties each year can make such a huge difference in ones maturity and many publishing companies will specifically state that in the genre of contemporary romance they expect the heroines to be in their mid to late twenties with the lead male the same age or slightly older.

So there it is. The magic age for romance as perscribed by the world of contemporary romance publishers is 25-29 for a woman and 27-32 for a man. I understand that these novels are fiction, but they are also a reflection of our societies expectations and culture in regards to courtship and romance.

My mothers favourite line when I was growing up was something akin to ‘well that is what I did, isn’t what I did good enough for you?’. This line was pulled out usually in relation to her getting married at 23 and having her first child by 25. In her eyes that was the ideal, and if you weren’t on time you were either insulting her, or destined to be a lonely and depressed spinster.

Women however ARE getting married older on average than our parents, inspite of our mothers rantings. This of course has positive and negative consequences. The older you are the more mature, the more self aware, the more independant. The older the are the more used to your independance, the more set in your ways and perhaps the more rushed to get things moving along in relationships.

So has the ideal age actually shifted, as in are we not ready nowadays until we are older, and if so why? Or is 25-29 still the golden timeframe for marriage?