Countdown to apocalypse…and a disclaimer

Hey, did I miss the big end of the world thing?

I know it was supposed to be in 2012, but I’ve been really busy the past few months with my two oldest children getting married, and sending my youngest daughter off to college, so I’m afraid the end of the world thing has been on the bottom of my ‘to-do’ list.

Let’s check it out.

(googling…)

No, I didn’t miss it! Here’s the official website, and it’s got a really helpful countdown going on that says we’ve got 84 days, 17 hours, 20 minutes, 36 seconds left. Good. I’ve got time to make some tea.

Oops. I just lost two seconds.

Oh my gosh. This website lists celebrities who believe in the Mayan prophecy that started all this apocalypse-watching: Brittney Spears, Shirley MacLaine, Li’l Wayne, Mel Gibson, somebody named Jack Van Impe, and Smashing Pumpkins, to name a few. Somehow, those particular names don’t inspire a lot of confidence in me when it comes to predicting the end of life as we know it. If you ask me, I think those folks have already gone beyond life as we know it. Except for the Jack guy. I don’t know anything about him. Yes, it’s true: I don’t know Jack.

But apparently, not all life is going to end, because right here, on the site, is an ad for the Survival Store, which is featuring a 72-hour survival kit. So I guess we can all plan on being around at least 72 hours after the end of the world. That’s also good to know.

But if I buy ten kits, can I survive for 720 hours? A hundred kits for 7200 hours? How does this end of the world thing work, anyway?

It looks like I have a ton of reading to do on this site if I’m going to truly grasp the coming apocalypse. There’s something about a Planet X, web bots, Bolivia banning Coca-Cola, and a network disclaimer.

Ah. A disclaimer. Let’s see what it says, shall we?

It reads: “The content of “The 2012 Network” is for general information purposes only and does not constitute advice. “The 2012 Network” tries to provide content, news and information that is true and accurate as of the date of writing; however, we give no assurance or warranty regarding the accuracy, timeliness, or applicability of any of the contents. Visitors to “The 2012 Network” should not act upon “The 2012 Network’s” content or information without first seeking appropriate professional advice.”

Note that it does not state what kind of ‘appropriately qualified professional.’ But I think I can make a reasonably accurate guess…