Day 5: 1:05 p.m.
Is it the adoption thing?
My lifelong fear of homelessness?
I've read that adopted people, once they become adults, share this common terror.
Pg. 123 of Betty Jean Lifton's Journey of the Adopted Self (Hardcover/BasicBooks):
"Homelessness is abandonment with a different spelling," Lifton writes. "Even as they appear to be tucked safely into their adoptive homes, adoptees fear that homelessness lies in wait like a grave at the end of the road."
Betty Jean was a friend to me at the end of her life. She died just a few days after she helped mend a broken bridge with my birth mom and sister. She was a pioneer on adoption and healing. She is beloved by thousands.
Same page in Journey, she writes, "If it is true that homelessness is an "archetypal state of transiency," (as worked by Carl Jung) adoptees have always been transients. They have a sense of being on the road even when they have a place to return to at night."
But the thing is, I will hear people say adopted people don't feel this way. "Oh, that's not how it is, I know a guy who is adopted and he's so happy, lucky and well adjusted."
Wings on heels, fly in opposite direction.
When it comes to this kind of person, what is the use in standing my ground, presenting evidence, arguing the point? It's taken me about 48 years to figure it out but I believe the argument is the point for the person who tells me I don't know how I feel. It's a control game. This person is someone who wants to control the only reality I have. My emotions are my truth.
It's Human Existence 101.
That's how it works. Emotions are complex, like human beings are complex. Emotions need to be acknowledged, studied, reflected on, experimented with and tested. Emotions are like music, hell, they are like a symphony. To attain mastery, we need a lifetime of practice. We need a great composer for control and balance. We need tuned instruments that allow our feelings to lilt or blast or cry their way out. Most of all, we need time to let symphony practice and finally perform. And, I think, we need an audience to hear.
It's a great big metaphor.
Emotions are allowed. Fear of homelessness is mine and I believe, in part, my fear is part of the adoption thing.
I've not gone out today but I will. I'm ready. We'll see.
My lifelong fear of homelessness?
I've read that adopted people, once they become adults, share this common terror.
Pg. 123 of Betty Jean Lifton's Journey of the Adopted Self (Hardcover/BasicBooks):
"Homelessness is abandonment with a different spelling," Lifton writes. "Even as they appear to be tucked safely into their adoptive homes, adoptees fear that homelessness lies in wait like a grave at the end of the road."Betty Jean was a friend to me at the end of her life. She died just a few days after she helped mend a broken bridge with my birth mom and sister. She was a pioneer on adoption and healing. She is beloved by thousands.
Same page in Journey, she writes, "If it is true that homelessness is an "archetypal state of transiency," (as worked by Carl Jung) adoptees have always been transients. They have a sense of being on the road even when they have a place to return to at night."
But the thing is, I will hear people say adopted people don't feel this way. "Oh, that's not how it is, I know a guy who is adopted and he's so happy, lucky and well adjusted."
Wings on heels, fly in opposite direction.
When it comes to this kind of person, what is the use in standing my ground, presenting evidence, arguing the point? It's taken me about 48 years to figure it out but I believe the argument is the point for the person who tells me I don't know how I feel. It's a control game. This person is someone who wants to control the only reality I have. My emotions are my truth.
It's Human Existence 101.
That's how it works. Emotions are complex, like human beings are complex. Emotions need to be acknowledged, studied, reflected on, experimented with and tested. Emotions are like music, hell, they are like a symphony. To attain mastery, we need a lifetime of practice. We need a great composer for control and balance. We need tuned instruments that allow our feelings to lilt or blast or cry their way out. Most of all, we need time to let symphony practice and finally perform. And, I think, we need an audience to hear.
It's a great big metaphor.
Emotions are allowed. Fear of homelessness is mine and I believe, in part, my fear is part of the adoption thing.
I've not gone out today but I will. I'm ready. We'll see.
No comments have been added yet.
