It was a JOKE, I SWEAR!
Rather important things in my life that have started off as a half-assed, crackbrained, fluff-butter, icing-on-the-crazy-cupcake joke. "So, we're living together, right? I mean, we are going to get married, right?"
"So, uhm, we're married now. We can have kids and nobody will think we're irresponsible, right?"
"No, I'm SERIOUS! I had this dream that my grandmother was teaching me how to crochet and I FINALLY figured it out! So I picked up a how-to book, some yarn, and a needle-- I mean, what's the harm, right?""Yeah, well, all the magazines had patterns for knitting and crochet. I hate being left out!"
"So, we're thirty-six, and we've got three now, let's close up shop when we're forty... let's see, it took nine years between Thing 2 and Thing 3, so there's no way we could get pregnant again before THEN!"
"So, my friend was just TEACHING CLASS the other day, and this goober dog wandered into his class room. He wants to give her to us, and a matching cat, too." (That cat lasted six years--not bad, really.)
"Wait, wait! Pet-Smart's having an adoption today? Well, we ARE down to one cat!"
"Well, the house may be crappy, but at least it's dead center between our two jobs, right?""Yeah, well, I've been soliciting Vulnerable to different houses, but nobody wants it. You say iUniverse is having a sale? Awesome! We'll self publish, give it to all our friends and sell, like, four copies?"
"OMG OMG OMG! So, like, Lynn, from Dreamspinner Press, put out this AWESOME commercial from youtube.com and she wanted a story written to it-- so I DID, and she LIKES it! Isn't that cool?""Yeah, why not let my students read my books? Jesus, compared to what they read ordinarily? I mean, what're
they gonna do, ask me to stop?" (Too soon? Yeah... too soon...)
"Well, hell... we've got this severance money-- what, so we go to Hawaii?"
"So, like what the hell am I going to put on all these vellum sheets for Dreamspinner? Yeah, they want them in the front cover of my books... well, I put Blood like Rain, Amy Lane in front of my Little Goddess books... I know, I know, wait! Angst and pain, Amy Lane-- right? Because, you know, it rhymes, right?"
"Hey, Chicken! You need to design something for me! A big ol' dragon, eating plotbunnies, okay? Yeah, make the plotbunnies cute! That's sadistic! I love it!"
"I need swag if I'm going to GRL? Seriously? Why? Can I just sort of bail on that, right? No? Well Jesus, what kind of bullshit am I going to come up with?"
"Ohmigod! So, get this! I'm like, doing an activity book, right, and it occurs to me! All that time in public education, and I can't wait until I'm a full time writer, right? So what do I do to celebrate? I GIVE MY FANS A BOOK FULL OF TESTS! Can you believe that bullshit?" *laughs* *shakes head* "Seriously. Who put me in charge?"In my house? Seriously. Don't ask. You can all see the evidence that it's not going to end well.
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KimE
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Sep 14, 2012 08:18AM
:) That is what life is for. Welcome to reality. If you can't have fun what can you do?
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Kim wrote: ":) That is what life is for. Welcome to reality. If you can't have fun what can you do?"Right? Absolutely!
I absolutely want to see the angsty activity book :D
Kaje wrote: "I absolutely want to see the angsty activity book :D"Excellent! They come back from the printers this week! I'm excited!
OK I give up - What is swag ???I'm danish and google translate doesn't even know.... :/
Swag is the free stuff that authors, conventions, advertisers provide when you are marketing your product or service. Things like t-shirts, pens, pins, bottles, key chains, thumb drives and the like. Usually something small but you can get in bulk to give away.
Thanks! I thought that might be it but I wasn't sure and my dictionaries are apparently not up to date :D
Slang takes awhile to get into physical dictionaries. dictionary.com has been very useful and so I haven't looked at physical dictionary in a long time. It actually has it as a slang for plunder; booty or money; valuables. That is what it is all about when it all comes down to it.
Helene - if you read Amy Lane you'll need a good Danish translation for angstapalooza...Really, though... no definition for swag? I figured if I'D heard of it, it must be a really old word. We probably borrowed it from Danish, anyway. Or Norse, or Old English.
Ok, I just had to look it up: (this is from an online etymology -word origins- dictionary)
swag (v.)
"to move heavily or unsteadily," 1520s, probably from O.N. sveggja "to swing, sway," cognate with O.E. swingan "to swing" (see swing). The noun sense of "ornamental festoon" is first found 1794. Colloquial sense of "promotional material" (from recording companies, etc.) was in use by 2001; swag was English criminal's slang for "quantity of stolen property, loot" from c.1839. Earlier senses of "bulky bag" (c.1300) and "big, blustering fellow" (1580s) may represent separate borrowings from the Scandinavian source. Swag lamp attested from 1966.
I looked up the abbreviations; "O.N." is Old Norse, which as it turns out is an earlier version of what became the Danish language! This is the website: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php
The entry for "angst" is interesting... English borrows from EVERYWHERE.
And Amy - I MUST have a copy of the Angst Activity Book for my friend Aurora who is a TOTAL Angst Whore (her words). Can we get a hint of a sample 'activity'??
Librarian wrote: "Helene - if you read Amy Lane you'll need a good Danish translation for angstapalooza...Really, though... no definition for swag? I figured if I'D heard of it, it must be a really old word. We pr..."
LOL-- well, there's the nickname word search, the pets & cars crossword, the 4 chibis to color in, the mate match... and two others that I can't remember off hand!
My Kindle is very good at explaining words that I don't understand - usually. Even in Amy's books :o)Actually "angst" is spelled the same in danish and means the same as well.
