Downton Abbey Cast is Buried in Time
If the family saga that is Downton Abbey were to complete its lifespan up to the present day, a different Downton Abbey cast would clearly be needed for the later years. Characters die, characters are born, and new actors have to step in.
If you fast-forwarded Downton Abbey to the present day, Dan Stevens would not still be playing Matthew Crawley, because Matthew Crawley would be one hundred and twenty. In fact, every one of the characters would be dead and a complete new Downton Abbey cast would be required.
We all know that stately homes throughout the country are not the same now as they were between the wars. They’re still there, the aristocracy is still there, but life within them is not the same as it was ninety years ago.
The irony is that we don’t really know how different it is now. No such drama is set in the present day. Upstairs Downstairs, Downton Abbey, Brideshead Revisited, even Blandings Castle, the Wodehouse epic due to be shown this autumn, are all period dramas.
The third series of Downton Abbey is to be broadcast this week. It is set in 1920 and many people can’t wait for it to start, but I bet there are a lot of people out there who would love to fast forward and see what’s what at Downton in 2012.
Hands up if you’d like to pop into the fictional Downton Abbey this afternoon? Now hands up if you’d like to pop into a real stately home owned by the National Trust or similar organization. I’d put money on more people opting for Downton Abbey.
Why, because we know the family and staff that lived there in the twenties. We knew the Downton Abbey cast then and we’d like to meet the Downton Abbey cast now. We feel a continuing bond with the Grantham-Crawleys. So, how good a catch up would that be?
“Knew your mum and dad, m’lord. Knew them better than you, probably. Used to be a fly on the wall here, every week for an hour. Would you like to hear about it?”
You never know, Julian Fellowes might well keep the saga going until we reach 2012, but in case he doesn’t, I’ve come up with my own synopsis of life at Downton Abbey in 2012.
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Lancelot Crawley, Matthew Crawley’s eldest son, is now the 85-year-old patriarch of Downton Abbey. His mother and father both died in 1974. He is married and separated from Hermione, who now lives in France with a French Count. She makes the late Dowager Countess of Grantham seem like a pussycat, and the whole household is in constant fear of her occasional visits.
Lancelot is a bumbling, lovable eccentric, who does not have an awfully tight grip on reality. This is probably the main reason Downton is struggling and expenditure is exceeding income. He has no son and is toying with the idea of buying a Thai bride to act as a ‘breeder’ and provide him with an heir to the dynasty. A problem the Earl of Grantham we know and love solved less dramatically, by finding Matthew Crawley, a cousin of the Granthams, to be his heir. However, he did enjoy a bit of rumpy pumpy. Not with a Thai bride, but with a chambermaid.
Lancelot’s only child, Caroline, a divorcee, has come to Downton’s rescue and seized the reins from Lancelot. Against his wishes, she realizes she has to open the house to the public and explore every possible revenue stream. Caroline has inherited the beauty of her grandmother, Lady Mary Crawley, together with a passion to keep Downton going from her great grandmother, Cora, the Countess of Grantham.
Caroline has two daughters, Athena and Imogen.
Athena, the eldest has inherited the rebellious genes of her great aunt, Lady Sybil Crawley. She has set up an activist commune in woods overlooking Downton and is captivated by a member of staff, who is known by the unlikely name, Hedgehog. This fits perfectly with Sybil’s history, running off with Tom, the family chauffer and I.R.A. supporter. She has an illegitimate son, twelve-year-old Che Guevara, who lives with her in the commune and melts the heart of everyone who meets him.
Imogen is a Cambridge undergraduate who toys with young men’s affections. She is totally uninhibited, copulates with friends in the grounds and follows her friend Prince Harry’s penchant for stripping naked at the drop of a hat. Not quite following her great grandmother Mary’s example of killing a Turk by shagging, but getting there.
Obviously the Downton staff, which we knew and loved, has also passed away, but has been replaced by an interesting, if quite motley crew.
Barnes the butler, Hollybush, the cleaner, Disgusted Freddie, the handyman, Julian the camp chauffer and Mrs Murphy the cook all play their part in keeping Downton ticking.
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I hope I have whetted your appetite by taking Downton Abbey back to the future.
The bad news is that I cannot see Julian Fellowes commissioning my synopsis and using it for Downton Abbey 2012.
The good news is that I’ve used it instead as the basis of my new novel, Open House, the first of a series of Cove Castle Comedies, set in the present day.
You can follow Lord Lancelot, Lady Hermione, Caroline, Athena, Imogen, Che Guevara, Barnes, Hedgehog, Hollybush, Julian, Mrs Murphy and Disgusted Freddie at Cove Castle. It is always Open House there. Just click on the link and you’re in.
