Writer vs Software on Erotic Notions

So,I'm into the swing of writing and edits and I get a phone call from my  daughter who needs her mother - now. Crap!
The pressures of life had built up on her at the moment and she needs a calmer presence. I always wonder who she's talking about when she says things like that. Calmer presence??? Me??  I'm the one who goes over and touches the paint to see if it's really wet. I've been known to push the button that says – in big bold capitals – DO NOT PUSH BUTTON.


Now I want to stay home and write but motherly guilt calls me. There must be a solution. Brilliant computer IT guy - A.K.A. hubby - suggests voice to text software. That night he downloads it and then shows me how to teach my laptop to understand me.  I followed the directions and read the texts and the software said everything was fine.
Note - I grew up in southwestern Ontario (that's near Detroit, Michigan). I have a slight regional accent, not a heavy one. No Scottish brogue or Texas drawl.
I'm set for a several hour drive to my daughter's. I drive to the border, clear customs and pull over at the nearest big parking area and set up my lap top and mic. The software put up its little icon and it says – Sleeping. How cute.I say the most intelligent thing that comes to mind – Uh- wake up.SleepingWake upSleepingF******g WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sleeping(beginning to think I hate software.) 

Then I do what most rational people do – I start randomly banging keys on the laptop. Icon changes to "What was that?"
 oooh, there's life.
Just as I'm about to speak – it flashes across the screen – say "start talking".I swear I looked at the keyboard and yelled – "What the hell do you think I've been doing for the past five minutes?"
Silence from computer screen. (I think I insulted it.)In blood pressure rising frustration I yell – TYPE. 
It types – tight. Yes! F*****ing close enough. 
I put on my turn signal, check for traffic, pull back onto the totally empty highway and proceed to talk and drive for 30 minutes.  Below are the first few lines of my chapter – I hope you enjoy.
Tight captain eight the war listen to what is sank a ota is out if we work on a can this way. thank you for a lot of college after this is not a tight visits to eight at brain apparatus cash sheep are high and orange this is to eight bits as Monday the hot pepper 80 finds out about whether or not she
Some more delightful tidbits from the brain of my computer and three pages of brilliant gibberish – 
Dalles name is long odds of lack of paper president
men's all is the wrong on about things that green are mindless menus
reality residents living near is waning between the two S king malls over which increase size and and minds as lack the means to sign the moment is fingered those rights and C is
With brilliant prose like that – I feel a Pulitzer Prize in my future.
This is what I remembered saying – it is the unedited beginning of Chapter Eight – otherwise known as captain eight by my laptop.  This is in Thal's – the hero's - POV.
Only gone a moment, his mother, Lachesis, still stood next to the tree. The root looked more wrinkled and the cover gray. Thal's mood darkened as he stepped closer. "But Nathan threw the gun away. Is he still in danger?"Lachesis shimmered. "This root I hold is not of the life of Nathan B Millar but of the one in your domain called Capri."Thal spread his mist along the root, trying to shield it from whatever was causing it such pain. "Her life string cannot be this short.""No. It was much longer but she suffers a broken heart. The pain makes her life-force look like this as she grieves for a lost lover."His mist turned a rich shade of green. "Lover? She has had no one in her life for many years. Not since she pushed that low-life, two-timing leech of a husband out of her house."The twinkle in Lachesis' voice matched the sparkling glitter in her mist. "Tell me what you have observed about this human.""Telling you would take hours. Let me show you."


We have downloaded new text to voice software and happily daughter has had  no crisises, so I haven't tried it yet. But if there is another blog about writer vs software you may assume the worst!
What's your funniest/favourite/most annoying run in with technology or software?