Coming Out and Unconditional Love

When my first book came out I was excited. Really excited but something marred it just a little and that was the fact that the only person in my real life (apart from my online friends who are like family) that knew what I wrote was my husband. Now not to diminish this man's role in my life, he's my best friend but I still felt like I needed to tell someone.


The first person I told was my eldest daughter. She was very excited for me. She'd always wanted me to write a book, all my kids had, the older ones anyway. Anyway this child, who isn't a child I hasten to add, urged me to share with my sisters.
"You should tell them."she urged. "They'll be happy for you and they'd be really hurt if they found out and you didn't tell them."


I pondered on this and then finally sent my sisters each an email. It's easy to write something rather than have to say the words isn't it? Of course it is. Problem was I didn't receive a reply from either of them. As the days passed my heart sank. I was starting to think that telling them was a big mistake. They obviously both thought I was crazy or weird or both... I couldn't bring myself to bring the subject up.



Well fate being what it is, I got my chance a few weeks later. We were at a birthday party for my sister's partner. After a bit of dutch courage in the form of a half a bottle of champagne...I pulled my sister over to the side.
"Did you get my email?" I asked. I swear I thought my heart was going to jump right out of my chest.
"No?" she said. "Sorry I haven't checked my email for ages."
Now being that I spend most of my waking hours on the net it never occurred to me that she wouldn't have read it.
"OH." I said. I could run back over to her house steal her computer and try and figure out her password so I could delete the message couldn't I? But then my other sister lives on the other side of the country, no chance of deleting hers...
"Was it important?" she asked.
"No. NO, I said. It's just."
"Let's go and have a drink." she said helpfully. "Then you can tell me."
See that's what I needed another drink, a bit of dutch courage.



We cracked open another bottle of champagne, no idea what happened to the other one, someone else must have drunk it. That's my story anyway. So we shared a drink and I told her.
"I've had a book published." I said. "It's only an E Book and I don't even know if anyone will buy it." I said.
"Wow!" she said gushing."I'll buy it!"
Relief and champagne flooded through me and I opened up and told her about what I write. I thought I mentioned that I wasn't going to tell everyone in the family just her and my other sister. Perhaps I just thought that's what I said or perhaps she didn't hear it...or perhaps it was the champagne....


I was so relieved. She wasn't shocked or disgusted or anything, it felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders.
 That was until the next day....




This has gotten too long so I'll finish the next part of the story in my next blog.