I blame Jackson Browne

Koro 1

I’ve been in a state of rigor mortis for the past two weeks. What am I doing? I’ve quit my job and booked a one-way flight to Fiji? Are we talking clinical insanity, or have I just spent too much time listening to Jackson Browne this summer? How many times does one have to listen to The Pretender before one is moved to desperate action?

I don’t blame Mr. Browne; after all, I’ve done this sort of thing before. Truthfully? It’s been about 50-50 great experiences v disasters, so this new Fiji experiment could go either way. The thing is, I’m 52! There will come a time when, if I ditch a good, well-paying, and fairly easy job, I won’t be able to get another. (Duh!) This last thought was the cause of my recent rigor mortis. I anticipate spending about ten thousand dollars on a couple of waterless, non-electric composting toilets. Delivered to Koro Island, Fiji.

So I took a day off work and moved my paperwork out to a table by the pool. So I could dunk my head into the cold water if I started to hyperventilate. My friend Jay came by and told me a story about a film he had seen with the baby penguins all crowded together on the edge of the cliff. No one would jump, until one brave little penguin took the leap. Jay was trying to cheer me up, having recognized the look of frozen horror on my face. I strongly suspect that one brave little penguin felt a sharp kick in the ass from someone behind him in the crowd before he took the plunge.

But today the plans arrived in the mail from Nelson Treehouse and Supply. Yes, the plans for the treehouse. Not only am I moving myself and the kid to Fiji, but we are going to build a treehouse. I say this with a straight face, knowing I’m still not able to fully work my touchscreen Ipod, the one with only two buttons. But the kid is really psyched, and has the plans spread out over the table. He’s talking about spanning struts and knee braces and K-nut and suspender units- called the ‘dynamic triangle.’ He’s passed over the instruction book for me to read called Treehousing: The Instructional Guide. It starts off by saying: ‘Trees are among the most complicated and fascinating organisms on the planet…They are delicate, beautiful, and exist all over the world…It is imperative that we treat the tree with respect, and climb up into it with knowledge and a friendly mind.’ I’ve got the friendly mind already. Hey, we’re not alone! Yeah, baby! We’re going to Fiji!