Restaurant Style Salsa

Okay. Here's the situation:

I am completely high maintenance when it comes to salsa.

Now, I'm not talking about Pico de Gallo. I'm high maintenance there, too…but that's not what I'm making today.

What I'm making today is salsa. The kind they serve in restaurants with chips. The kind they sell in jars. The kind you eat during a football game. The kind that's replaced ketchup as the number one condiment in America.

As ubiquitous as it is, you'd think salsa would be a pretty straightforward t...